I wish I had done fertility testing earlier.
I spent a lot of time when I was single and throughout my life stressing about the likelihood of having a family.
I’ve always wanted to be a mom, and I used to get stressed about whether it would happen for me.
Now looking back, I see how much of this stress was imposed by external pressure and influence.
I think that a lot of women are sold the story that our fertility “rapidly” declines at 35, that we need to meet someone well in advance of that date in order to be able have a kid, or that we might have trouble conceiving.
If you are reading this right now, you might have your own stories about family planning.
My mom had some difficulty getting pregnant with my brother and i, and so I was raised with this projection that I, too, might have issues too. As you can imagine, this is a weird thing for a…20 year old…to be told.
Eventually in my late 20s and into my 30s, when I found myself single and stressed about it, I eventually learned how to truly trust in the timing of my life. If I was supposed to have children then I would have that, and really learned to trust in that fact, and the timing of when that might happen.
I’m grateful for that, because I am sure I would have put a lot of pressure on my relationship and tried to quicken the process with Chris once we got into relationship had I not.
I have coached so many women through their own fertility journeys.
A lot of them were told that they would struggle to get pregnant, and then ended up getting pregnant with more ease than they expected, so needed coaching and support around this sudden and unexpected transition into motherhood.
I’ve also had a lot of women come to me in the middle of their IVF journeys for spiritual support and guidance on self-nurturance during the process, and above all, to trust.
It’s interesting because I myself had never been through either process, and yet the Universe continues to line up women for me during these potent transitions in their lives.
Until recently – I finally found myself wanting to understand more the process to get pregnant, and to check in with body on that.
In completing the process, I now wish that every woman had this access to information about her body to help her make informed and empowered choices.
I wish that I had been able to do the testing earlier, and wish that I had known it was an option.
As women, our bodies are unique, and only through testing can you actually understand what is happening in your unique body!
Fertility Testing Was Inacessible, But is Being Made More Accessible
in Canada, it’s pretty wild what you have to do in order to get fertility testing done.
I had been told this for years – you can only be eligible for fertility testing once you and your partner have been trying for at least a year.
This is problematic on so many levels.
Why can’t all women have access to this?
Why do you need to be in a relationship?
Why does it need to be for an entire year?
I had heard of some women who had gotten theirs done outside of these confines, but it was only because they went to get their eggs frozen.
Technically if you did not meet the requirement of trying with a partner for a year, you could get around this rule and get access to testing by claiming that you wanted to freeze your eggs, even if you don’t actually want to do that.
This is why I was so excited one day to get hit by an ad by this company, Modern Fertility.
This company makes fertility really easy – and done through a simple pin prick blood test at home.
Once you get all your levels back, you could, if you wanted, pay out of pocket to have a transvaginal ultrasound to get further information about your results.
I have a code for modern fertility if you want to get your testing done
Use this link to get $20.00 off: https://https://modernfertility.com/shop/hormone-test/?url=mfht10offtoday
Use this link to get a discount on pre-natal vitamins: https://modernfertility.com/shop/prenatal-vitamins/?url=prenatal5
If you’re in Canada, I would honestly have the box shipped to a friend or address in the US, and then do the testing and have it processed in the US. I would even pay, out of pocket, to get the ultrasound done if your doctor won’t do it.
Having this information is so useful, and it might be worth it for you to figure out a way to get yours done without so much red tape.
What Testing Was Like
I ended up getting my testing done through the women’s health clinic I’m lucky enough to get to go to in NYC called Tia Health. If you are in the NYC area, or California, look into them! They are women’s focused and has been the most enjoyable healthcare experience I have ever had.
All I had to to do was suggest to them that I was starting to think about family planning, and so wanted to connect in with my body to see what was happening and how I could support her in that process.
They happily got me signed up for all the bloodwork and ultrasound to get this done.
However, I get that not every clinic is women’s focused, nor is it as accessible. This is why I’m so happy to have found out about modern fertility 🙂
I had no idea that fertility testing was as easy as bloodwork with an additional ultrasound. I for some reason thought that it was way more complicated, which again, makes me feel fired up about why women aren’t told this.
What the Blood Test Shows You
The blood tests will show you your hormone levels, as well as showing your AMH. This will show you, approximately, what your egg reserve is.
This is the whole key – so many of us are told that fertility declines at a certain age, but it could be much sooner, or much later.
Having this information is empowering because you can make choices for yourself based on what you find out.
For example, if you happened to see that your egg reserve seemed on the lower range, you might consider freezing your eggs earlier than you thought.
On the flip side, you might find out that your egg reserve is quite high for your age, which might help you relax into the possibility of having children much later than you anticipated.
All of these are just different possibilities, but I’m really clear that if women have more information, they can make these choices for themselves with more ease.
An ultrasound then basically will corroborate what the blood tests show, giving you additional information.
Was it painful?
Absolutely not! I have a massive fear of blood tests that I worked to get over in the month leading up to getting it done for this.
The transvaginal ultrasound was also fine, and if you are like me and need a lot of assurance with your doctor’s appointments, ask questions! I asked questions the entire time which helped make the experience not only more enjoyable, but truly informative.
Information is Power
The more information we have, the better.
Knowing about our hormone levels, our uterus, our eggs, and our fertility is something that women have largely been pretty encumbered from knowing until now…because, well, you know.
Understanding and connecting with your body in this way is such an important piece in your fertility journey. What a gift it would be if we all had built this connection long before we even had family planning on the brain or were forced due in response to “something being wrong.”
My ultrasound technician shared with me that she found out when she was in her mid twenties that her egg reserves were very low for her age, and so she made the choice to have a child through a sperm donor at that time, and is thrilled with her empowered choice.
I’ve supported women as they got pregnant into their 40s and could learn to trust in their bodies and its ability to conceive.
No journey is better than the other – but each journey is unique.
If you are feeling called to learn more about your fertility, and it feels like an empowering choice to you, I highly recommend getting it done.
Ways to Begin the Fertility Journey Long Before You Are Opening Up to Kids
The last thing that I wanted to share was some of the things that I’m currently doing and will continue to do as I start to make the transition from Maiden to Mother, and wanting to start my own family planning.
- Read The Book – Spirit Babies
Omg this book. So affirming and really aligns with a lot of my beliefs around the soul contracts we have with our children. The book is also filled with so much awesome information about possible reasons we haven’t yet connected with our spirit babies that are outside the realm of what a doctor might share. Highly, highly recommend this book!
2. Start to Connect with Your Spirit Babies
It’s also been an incredible process for me to connect with the energy of my children long before I meet them on the earth side.
I really started to feel the energy of these souls right before I met Chris, and then on our second date I felt them so intensely that I, I am not kidding, blurted it out to Chris. (This is a story everyone loveeeees to ask Chris about now and how the heck her responded to that!!).
As time has gone on, I’ve gotten more information from them – like what one of them wants to be named, where they want to be born, and past lives together.
3. Get to Know Your Body Through Fertility Testing
Of course, I also think that fertility testing to understand what is happening in your body is really helpful. Just as my doctors shared with me, things are so solution-oriented, and so once you have more information you can receive the support you might need once you have this information.
4. Take Pre Natal Vitamins
My doctors have always stressed the important of prenatals, but i never got on board until recently. I’ve added pre natal vitamins into my routine, alongside my other supplements I take regularly which are daily cleanse, wing man, collagen, ashwaganda, and chill out from hum nutrition: 22A23A CODE for $10.00 off
Use this link to get a discount on pre-natals: https://modernfertility.com/shop/prenatal-vitamins/?url=prenatal5
5. Start to Practice Trust and Establish a Spiritual Foundation
One thing that I have heard is really helpful for women in their process is learning to TRUST. Having a strong spiritual foundation becomes an incredible anchor to root into during all of life’s changes and challenges.
If you don’t already have a way to connect in with your soul or the Universe, it’s a great time to establish that relationship.
As I’ve been on this journey, I’ve been rooting more and more deeply into my spiritual practice.
6. Connect with Your Womb
I’ve been doing more meditations wiht my hands on my womb, have been keeping my womb warm through warm feet and wearing slippers a lot, and otherwise trying to be really in tune with my sacral chakra and what it’s calling out for.
7. Confront the Shadow Work As It Arises – Especially Around Your Parents and the Inner Child
A lot of us are meant to help create new patterns and dynamics in our family lines.
You may be called to do deeper healing work, particularly for your inner child, or in healing past hurts in your family line. I’ve been writing more about my experiences in doing this work using IFS therapy as well as the Compassionate Inquiry somatic healing method by Gabor Mate.
8. Start the Transition from Maiden to Mother
This last one has felt more potent to me recently. I can feel, intuitively, that I am being guided to savour the most of my Maiden years in order to truly step into marriage and partnership in June, and to also make the transition into Motherhood later.
This is about letting yourself really honour your time as the Maiden, which is full of growth, adventure, play, trying new things, learning new things, and exploring the world and ourselves, before we enter into a new chapter which guides us to continue the same, but with the elements of additional souls in our lives to support, tend to, guide, and nurture as well.
For me, this has been part of me taking some time by myself before my wedding, as well as really savouring and honouring all the times I’ll be in celebration with my girlfriends honouring all that has been, before I intentionally begin a new chapter (more on my wedding intentions later!).
I hope this helps!
Let me know if you have any questions.
Lots of love,