Pisces Full Moon

It's a full moon!

If the full moon has been making you feel ungrounded, unsettled, or celebratory (I haven't been able to get to sleep the last two nights!), consider gifting yourself a weekend away at the Goddess Weekend Retreat September 27-29, 2019!

This is a small, intimate retreat group, so if that type of retreat experience calls to you, you can get more details here. 

Moving onto this moon...

This moon is in PISCES.  Pisces is the most emotional of all the signs, but is also the dreamer - the most imaginative, intuitive, and in-tune sign. 

Pisces does not eff around when it comes to feeling feelings, and so during pisces heavy moon influences, even the most stoic of us tend to tap into deeper feelings or intuitions. 

As you know, I always link the full moon to the new moon.  The new moon in Pisces was on March 6, 2019.

The theme of that moon was about the areas of our life we have been in denial about.  The new moon came right after a big Mercury retrograde period that was in February to early March. 

A lot of you were being shown areas of your life that needed healing, a pattern that needed breaking, or a feeling that needed to be felt.  

Do you remember what yours were? 

Mine was healing my heart so that I could attract in the partnership I wanted. The new moon at the beginning of March had me knee-deep in healing a pattern in relationships of not fully letting someone in that I discovered had stemmed from my very first heart-break and had never fully healed.  

This whole healing process has now become an integral process of the big love course that's now up and running, and all of that heart healing ultimately led me to the big love relationship I always wanted - see how it comes full circle?

This is classic full moon stuff.  Full moons bring to culmination the themes of the new moon, while also weaving in their own magic.

This full moon comes at the time that we are transitioning into fall and the Autumn Equinox, so it’s also bringing in themes of grounding into who we are and what we actually want in our lives. 

My soul sister Catherine Cowan (you can check her out here!) wrote a great piece about that theme, writing:

"Over the past few months - during the summer season of vibrancy, expansion and growth - life illuminated, and brought you more aware of, the things that are and are NOT working in your life. This happened as a way to highlight for you what's most important to you in this life chapter. It's now time to heal any lingering pieces, release any remaining resistance, and step with inspired action into this new season calling us to root down and harvest.

It's always important to remember that as life ebbs and flows, the things that are most important to you can shift and change. And that's ok. It's all part of your soul's evolution. The important thing is to trust this evolution, and remain connected with and responsive to your priorities and the things you value most.

This Full Moon is calling on you to move forward aligned with all the pieces that allow you to be who you truly are - so you can live the life you want."

Now is the time to reflect on what has transpired in your life since March.  How has the healing from then catapulted you to where you are NOW?

Let me know! I love hearing from you. 

Love you,

Catie

You can have it all..

"You can have it all, but not all at once."

Let's say, at a base, most of us want a lot of the same things - happiness, a sense of inner peace and calm, and love.

From there, I would say (since I talk to women all day, every day) we also want a career that's fulfilling that we are passionate about, a loving and supportive relationship that inspires us, financial security, optimal health and connection to our body, a degree of freedom, and some solid friends we can rely on.

Am I right?

You can have all the things that you want - I promise you. The universe is friendly and wants you to live your dream.

But you can't have it all at once.

You need to think of which one of these things is most important to you right now, and focus your energy there.

Is it career?

Is it the relationship?

Is it learning how to eat intuitively, move from a place of love, and reconnect with your body?

Is it busting through your blocks to earning more income?

Whatever it is - focus on ONE at a time. This will give you clarity of focus, precision of your energy, and will allow for miracles to flow to you.

Love you,

Catie

Uncovering Your Blocks

Do you really want something and have been trying to get the whole hang of this “manifesting” thing but have been drawing a blank?

What I’ve seen time and time again is that typically if you’re not manifesting the things you want it isn’t as a result of not knowing what you want.

Most of us know exactly what it is we desire - more money, more freedom, more love, to meet a certain person or visit a certain place.

When it comes to calling in those things, most of the time the issue, or the failure for the things we want to manifest in our lives to do so, has a lot to do with our own blocks around receiving it.

Think about it - energy is everywhere and this is how we manifest. So if it’s not an issue with an abundance of energy, it’s an issue with being an open “receiver” of energy.

There’s a block that’s clogging up the energy flow.

Trust me - I’ve had to work through all different blocks and used a similar framework for everything I’ve ever manifested. They’re sneaky and show up with each new vision or desire you put out there.

If you’ve been blocked in receiving what you desire - try reflecting on the following questions to see if there’s a block...

What bad thing do you think would happen if you were to get what you want? Do you think you deserve it? Do you think other people would judge you if you got it? Do you think you wouldn’t know how to handle it, or that it would change your life too much?

We generally block what we, deep down, don’t think we fully deserve or think we’ll be judged for - ie: “who does she think she is?”

We also block things by not being the right energetic match.

Do you say you want to be in a relationship, but continue to date people who don’t fully align with or respect you, or keep a few guys on the “back burner”? what do you think that does to your energetic openness to a relationship? 

Or do you want to create more income for yourself, but continue to spend frivolously, or alternatively, have a ton of fear around spending? how do you think that might block the flow? 

If the thing you want in your life hasn’t been showing up - it’s time to take responsibility to do the work to look at what might be blocking all the magnificence you wish to come in.

Remember - you deserve to create a life that makes you feel overwhelmed with love, abundance and gratitude. there are infinite possibilities for you and your life - you are the dreamer of the dream

Love you,

Catie

Season of Singleness

I'm in Sooke, BC right now. Have you been?

I've been here for a wedding for one of my best friends - but want to know a secret?

I bawled my eyes out after I got off the phone with her and she told me she was engaged last year.

I was at the cottage and she called me - I was so excited for her and immediately when I hung up the phone... I felt it.

The feeling of feeling like I was so far behind my friends who were engaged or married.

The feeling of sadness of the end of the chapter where she and I used to chat incessantly about our dating lives, our hook-ups, and our heartbreaks.

The feeling that I was stuck. I was in a different place than so many of my friends... and the fear that maybe I wouldn't find what I was looking for.

Then my mom came and found me - "she's engaged!!!" I said with a smile- trying to feign enthusiasm. My mum - being a mum - said "are you okay?"

I immediately burst into tears. I was embarrassed to feel that way, but I had to own it.

Weddings would bring up for me the contrast of all that I didn't have, and even though I knew that I loved myself and my life, it was a big, bright stoplight shining on something I wished to have and was in the process of trusting would come to me.

I could be happy for one of my best friends and be super happy with my life - and yet still really long for a partner to share it with

If that's where you're at - I want you to be okay with the contrast and the polarities of your romantic journey to find the big love.

I remember my parents sitting with me as I cried last year and I said - "You know, its just hard. I really do love myself. I LOVE my life. I feel proud of myself... but its really hard because I really want to share my life with someone, and its hard to see everyone around me with partnered up... and even though I trust my path... and even though I know that it'll happen.. it's just hard."

Are you in that space right now?

So often when we're single, I think there's an expectation that we'll be either "I'm single and LOVING IT!!! I don't need anyone right now!" and to be completely non-bothered by the whole thing, or "I hate this! I want to date someone YESTERDAY" with the expectation that our whole life revolves around dating and finding a partner.

In my experience, neither tend to be true - and most of us tend to dance between the two.

We want to see our "season of singleness" as a time of growth and exploration and a time of cultivating deep self-love, while also wanting to share that love and life with another.

Every day might be different for you. Some days you’ll feel amazing and enjoying the freedom of your single life - and other times you’ll wish there was someone to give you a hug at the end of a big day. That's okay.

During this time of singleness, it was imperative that I had a ton of tools, resources and strategies to employ to navigate dancing between THOSE types of feelings. Those are some of the tools, resources and strategies I'll be teaching in the Big Love course.

I’ll leave you with this message - the things that you desire in your heart are for YOU and will come to you - but all in time.

As Steve Jobs said - “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

Youll eventually understand why all has unfolded in the timing it has once it’s time for you to know - in the meantime, trust, trust, trust.

Love YOU,

Catie

Friday [August 30] Favourites & New Moon Wisdom

Happy Friday! It's a new moon tonight so I'll write about that below, but first...
Here is your weekly dose of things that are bringing inspiration into my life that I think you might love.

Favourite woman of the week: Catherine Cowan, Soul-Work Coach and Mindful Mama - check her out here
Catherine is the wise older sister I always wanted and never knew existed.
She is also a soul-work coach, an intuitive, deeply empathetic and caring - and a real inspiration to me in terms of what a long-term marriage (with three young kids) can look like.

Favourite quote/poem:
“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.”
― Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi

Favourite plant: Ficus Tree (looks like this)
This is random - but this plant is my new obsession. They are so majestic and great for the house!
If you don't have any plants in your house, they can be a beautiful way to cultivate that feminine energy of nurturing.

Card of the Week: (THIS ONE WAS SO PERF FOR THIS NEW MOON!!!) CLEAN IT UP, Colette-Baron Reid Oracle Guide Deck

Essential meanings: Getting to the core of a situation; freedom from a burden; cleaning house; sweeping away what is no longer needed.

The Oracle's Message:  Make room for the miracles that are lining up for you.

Ever feel so bogged down with emotional gunk that you can’t think straight? Could you be surrounded by physical clutter in your home, also? Too much work? Overwhelmed? Time to clean house! Every item out of place natters away at you. Every unresolved resentment, every comparison to others that leads to a sense of lack, takes up energetic space. Relationship message: Now is the time to sort through what you brought with you and let go of what is longer needed. Become unencumbered and your relationships will flourish.
Time to clear the air, take a look at your side of the street, and say what’s on your mind. Sweep away the old stuff so that a spring breeze can flow through with new energy. It’s the perfect time to do an inventory of your dynamics and see what’s yours—and what’s not yours—to clean up the relationship. 

Now on to...

New Moon in Virgo Wisdom:

Virgo season brings us to focus in on CLEANING UP an area of our life that might feel a little messy - or our entire life :)

According to my favourite Astrologer, Chani Nicholas:

"Virgo is blessed with the ability to serve. The ability to work. The ability to make a masterpiece out of a mess. Virgo is blessed with a relentless drive to get it right. To get it working. To get it to those who need it. Virgo is blessed with the ability to see what doesn’t fit. What doesn’t add to the situation. What doesn’t lift up the meaning of what it is making. Virgo is blessed with the natural ability to understand the systems of the body. To trust nature. To tune into the rhythms of life. Virgo is blessed with the desire to heal. To eliminate what is toxic. To digest and integrate what will restore it to health. Blessed with the knowledge that sincere efforts help to assuage our anxieties, Virgo knows that using its abilities is imperative to experiencing any kind of calm."

Based on this, your intentions this new moon should be focused on where in your life is feeling a bit MESSY and needs some tending to.

I always say to my clients that you can have it all - but just not all at once. Focus on the one area of your life that is a bit of a mess that you want to sort through, trusting that eventually you will transform it all.

Is it your romantic life? (then sign up for the big love course - obviously - here)

Your relationship to your body and how you eat, move, and speak to her?

Is it your career?

Is it the friendships you keep around you? Do you want more soul sisters? (then consider a retreat! next one is September 27-29 weekend!!!)

Whatever it is - time to get to work. Time to clean your internal house, focus inward and come up with some clear plans and goals as to where you wish for things to be six months from now when the Virgo Full Moon hits.

Love you,

Catie

Stay humble. Do the work.

There's a wonderful yogi named Kino MacGregor who teaches Mysore Style Ashtanga yoga around the world (and has her own studio in Miami) who I've loved following along with for a while for yoga inspiration (check her out here).

When I was first learning the Ashtanga series, I would follow along to this video of her guiding it.

At the same part of the video her words would catch me every time - "stay humble and do the work."

While she was referring to working your way up slowly to the more advanced postures and not getting ahead of yourself, that simple advice rings true so often.

Stay humble. Do the work.

Yoga teaches us to be humble.

It teaches us to stay the course, and to continue to put in the work to watch our practice expand little by little. With faith and dedication, eventually your practice will get stronger and more fluid, but your connection to the practice itself is really what grows over time.

It becomes a trusted safe haven you can go back to.

No one is watching you on your mat - its just you and your own breath.

No one is going to commend you for your practice - instead, its just you, your internal process, and the feeling you get from having spent time with your body, your mind, and your spirit flowing together as one for a period of time.

It got me thinking about humbleness and the things we do that are just for us. It also got me thinking about when we throw in the towel too early because of not seeing the results we want, instead of humbly putting one foot in front of the other.

Earlier this week in my regular yoga practice, I got an asana/pose that I have been working on for... six years.

Six GD years.

I only hit it for a couple of seconds - but that feeling of finally hitting it - of finally witnessing my body do something its been slowly waiting to do forever felt so exciting... and then that same thought popped into my head:

"Yoga teaches us to stay humble and do the work."

No one knows about the six years of practicing, unsuccessfully, that asana to get it. My yoga practice is quiet. Ongoing. Step by step. It's humble. The work gets put in - and there are never any expectations of anything happening external as a result of it - its an inward game.

In yoga, its always one step in front of the other. Showing up on the mat over and over without expectation. Being humble to do the work of showing up while you repeatedly "fail" over and over again.

How do you bring that practice of humbleness to put in the work and stay the course with no expectation of the return, and with no expectation of any external validation, in other areas of our lives?

I've been contemplating this idea I wanted to share tonight for you to dive into:

What are you doing in your life that's just for you?

And - perhaps more interestingly - what are you doing right now that's for "you" but secretly you're hoping for some type of applause or accolade for?

What are you doing with the expectation that you might get something in return?

Where could you bring a little more humbleness, a little more eagerness to learn and joyfully put in the work, a little more devotion to in your life?

Is there something you want to quit simply because the results haven't come as quickly as you wished?

Stay humble. Do the work. You will get there.

Love YOU,

Catie

Following Heart over Mind - Camp Goddess/Camp Soul (COME)

I want to share with you this story about Camp Goddess/turned Soul Camp/turned Camp Goddess with the hope it'll help you let go of the steering wheel and go with the flow with something in your own life. 

I do try and always surrender to the flow - to follow my instincts and intuition - and to use my logical mind as a helpful tool instead of the “planner” in my life.

In other words, I find that following my soul’s calling and vision instead of “what makes sense” has served me well in all areas of my life - even if its scary.

This is a story about trusting your vision - not getting caught in what "makes sense" - and being able to pivot when the universe points you in a new direction. 

Earlier this year I got this whole vision of "Camp Goddess" - which would be an all-women's retreat up north, just outside of Muskoka, where we would dive deep into living our most vibrant, authentic lives as women in the container of a retreat (one of my favourite experiences to facilitate). 


I would lead us through workshops and circles on connecting with your inner power, intuition, surrender, and creativity - and use the power of retreat - the community - to help you connect and collaborate and workshop your ideas and dreams together. 

We would do a sweet, slow, delicious yoga movement flow in the morning after having spent the morning journaling on the self-reflection questions I would have sent you the night before.  After that, we would eat a healthy meal and then connect back in with the group of other heart-centered, soulful women and would deep dive into what the most epic version of your life would look like. 

Together, you would help create a plan for what that would actually look like, and how to get there. i really believe that the new model is women supporting women - and showing, by example, what it looks like to be held, supported and cheered on by women who really are in your corner.  

I also really wanted to dive into the themes we explore in the monthly Goddess Circles - of how to connect with intuition, manifest, nurture ourselves, feel beautiful and vibrant, and step in owning all of our power (aka how to screw thinking you're ever too much or not enough).

Basically, a real combination of the other retreats I offer and circle mixed into one at a retreat centre 1.5 hours outside of the city. 


But then ... I pivoted. 


I met my new amazing friend Julian for coffee before yoga one day, and when he suggested a collaboration, we decided logically, it made sense for us to co-lead at my next scheduled event, which was this September 28-30, 2019 weekend retreat. 

I had already booked the centre and was clear that it was supposed to be camp goddess retreat, but in that moment lost sight of that because I was excited about the potential collaboration.

This was the clincher - I went with what made logical sense (ie: let’s collaborate, it makes sense to do it for this retreat - as opposed to the original vision.


Running it with a guy meant that it wouldn't be called camp goddess or focused in on all the same topics necessarily - so we shifted it to camp soul, and then the SOUL retreat. 

This is an example of following logic instead of the heart.  There's room for both - for using the mind to help us strategize and apply logic - but ultimately, we need to follow our heart and intuition first. In this case, I didn’t - but it still felt aligned so I was following through.

However as we started to create it - something felt off. “nudge nudge” my intuition would say (as it does when I stop listening) - “there’s something off here.“

Julian has written an amazing book on owning your anxiety through a myriad of holistic tools. You can check out more here - but as a result, is pretty deep into book touring right now.

As we started to dive into what we were creating, we realized that he should be focusing in on the tour right now because that’s where the universe is leading him - and that I should... go back to the original vision which is really what was lighting my heart up and where my intuition was guiding me back to.

So I've decided to go back to my original vision and trust that those of you that are called to be at this retreat will hear the call to join the amazing women who have already signed up. 

I'm going to go with the flow and trust that this is the experience that you are wanting - an all women’s retreat with a balance of the yin/yang - of strategy and coming up with a clear plan, but also time to deeply nurture yourself, connect with other like-minded women, and move your body in a way that feels fluid and natural.

What I want you to take from this is:

a) it’s okay to pivot; and

b) be sure that when you don’t follow your intuition, and go with mind over the heart, it’ll start to “nudge nudge” at you to pivot you back in the direction it wants you to go. This is because the universe wants us to flow in a certain way, and if we resist, it’ll start to push us - slowly, then swiftly, back into the direction it wants us to go.

Whenever things don't go to plan, and I'm being asked to pivot, I'll ask:

1. How can I drop all resistance and accept this as this is right now? (this is called practicing radical acceptance); 
2. I say to myself "What's true in this moment is..."; 
3. I ask spirit/the universe/my higher self to "Show me what my next steps are..." and then create space to listen  (in this case I went for a run, and on the run got the clarity to move forward with my original vision)
4. I take swift action to go with the flow of what IS flowing. 

Speaking of FLOW - flowing, and not controlling, is part of how the feminine/shakti energy moves her way through out life. Want to learn more about how to go with the flow? Join me for camp goddess retreat this September 28-30!!! You can sign up and see more information here: www.catiefenn.com/campsoul

All is Well

I want you to consider this thought:

"Unhappiness is predicated on the idea of what "should" be, based on your personal history.
It's the resistance to what is.
Ask yourself this: if you were beamed into your body without any memory, so all you knew was the present moment, would you be unhappy right now?"
- Aubrey Marcus

Sit with that for a moment.

If you were beamed into your body with no prior memory in this moment - would you be unhappy?

Would you think that your life was lacking in any way?
Where would your mind be?
Where would your focus be?
You would be right here. In your body. Breathing. Viewing what was in front of you. Hearing the sounds around you. Watching your chest rise and fall. Smelling. Being.
You would feel no sense of lack. You would feel at peace. You would look at your surroundings objectively and think "all is well."

So often we get tripped up on being anywhere other than where we are now, or thinking we "should" be somewhere else.

I see a lot in my private coaching clients this frustration between where they are and where they want to be. Sure, you can get clear on a vision for the future and get excited for it, but you also need to be content with where you are, right now, in this moment.
Resistance to what is causes us suffering.

Despite your mind/ego's story, where you are right now, in this moment - is where you're supposed to be. Surrender comes in letting go of any resistance to that.

I see a lot of people start to get tripped up about the future, robbing them of the joy of the present. Many worry if they'll run out of money, or if they'll ever get married or have a child.
The idea comes from thinking you "should" have more, or have these things, or have them by a certain timeline.
But, again, take it back to this moment. In this moment, do you have enough money to cover your needs?
In this moment, are you content in your heart with your relationship with yourself, and with the important people in your life?

In this moment, is everything okay?
It is.


My old boss when I was a lawyer used to always say "all is well." He would often pop into my office while scurrying through the halls of the law firm, while he had about a million things to do and mounting pressure for a file, and would say "how are you? Is all well, Catie?"
I would look up from the stack of papers on my desk, trying to write another legal opinion "ummm... all good over here... just working away...so yeah," I'd smile "all is well."
"How are you?" I would ask, knowing that he had the entire weight of the firm on his shoulders. No matter what, no matter how stressed I knew he was, he would say "all is well."
This week, whenever you find yourself getting wrapped in a story of needing to be anywhere than you are now, in comparison to someone else in their life, or otherwise worrying about the future, stop pause and remind yourself:

"All is well."

Lots of love,
Catie

Friday [August 16] Favourites

Happy Friday! Here is your weekly dose of things that are bringing inspiration into my life that I think you might love.

Favourite Book: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
This book is a fascinating spiritual and scientific review of the effect that our trauma and stress has on our bodies. While all of us have differing trauma or stresses, our bodies are all "keeping the score" or holding onto the imprints of these.
It's an amazing read for any of you in the helping professions, or those who want to connect more deeply with their bodies and healing.

Favourite woman of the week: Kyla Fox (insta), Therapist and Founder of the Kyla Fox Centre for Eating Disorders and Women's Wellness (here)
Kyla was my yoga crush for...literally 7 years before I really knew who she was and what she did. Now that I know she turned her pain into her purpose I just love her more.
Kyla's ethos is that almost ALL of us have patterns of binging, purging, and restricting - when it comes to food, but also when it comes to work, to dating, to how we communicate, etc. - and that we can learn to identify these patterns and heal them to bring ourselves back into balance.
For the past five months, I've been working with clients at the centre in embodiment and spiritual coaching a couple of days a week and its been incredibly fascinating and healing. If you are looking for additional therapeutic support or are concerned about any eating patterns, the centre is an amazing space to do that work.

Favourite quote/poem: on Romantic Relationships, from the book "Spinster" by Kate Bolick (sidenote: I didn't loveee the book, just parts)
"Talking with him feels like wandering through a library of books I've never read (and some that I have), where there's room enough for my own thoughts to roam. Sometimes I think he has a little bit in him of every man I've ever loved, and other times I think I've never met anyone like him."
SWOON!

Favourite practice: Intermittent Fasting
This is another post for another day, but if you're curious, you can read more about it here.

Favourite activity: SoulCycle
Do you ever spin? I go through stages - and lately I'm back on the SOULcycle bandwagon. There's nothing like getting lost in the music, lights off, sweating up a storm.

Card of the Week: Two of Cups, from Tarot
Two of cups shows up when there's a duality at play or a decision to be made. You could go one way, or you could go another. What's your decision? It's time to make it.
Similarly, it can show the duality nature of things. You can only have the light with the dark, and good experiences are so much sweeter in contrast to the bad. Are you being shown a polarity right now, and if so, what's it teaching you?
"You are caught in the delicate balance between opposing forces, between masculine and feminine, between action and nonaction. Use this to your advantage, as there can be no day without night, no low without high, no wrong without right. This is the time to take corrective action, beginning with your beliefs about what needs to be fixed or repaired. Let destiny take its course, nudging it slightly along."

Love you. 
Catie

Full Moon in Aquarius

Tonight's a full moon in Aquarius.

What I find interesting is that this full moon corresponds with the new moon from February 4, 2019. In February is usually where a lot of us are focusing in on self-love, and relationships of all sorts take the centre stage.
Sure, Valentine's Day brings it to the forefront, but we can't really escape a focus come February for relationships - to ourselves, and to others - to be at the centre of our minds because I think February can be quite a lonely month across the board.
Think about it - the holidays end with celebration, then January is all about refocusing and inspiration...
And then comes February, the dust has settled, its cold and dark, and nature is beckoning us to draw inward.
In that inward space, its just you and you... and so if there's something that you're longing for in your relationships, or you're not connected to a deep sense of self-love, then February can bring up a lot of uncomfortable feelings around that.
As a result, back in February I would have prompted you to get clear on what radical self love for yourself might look like, and what you wanted all your relationships to look like by now.

So what's shaking in your relationships with others? What about your relationship to yourself? Let me know!

Full moons show us the beauty (so it could be a time of celebrate for actually having embodied the self-love you wanted to, or to have manifested the relationship you were seeking), or might also show us where we're still getting caught or blocked from those things (such as being overly critical, or consistently calling in emotionally unavailable partners).
Take some time with this full moon to reflect on your status of your relationships - and then to re-centre back into an intention to choose big love for yourself and your life.
You deserve to have epic, unwavering, unconditional love for yourself.
You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect and support.
You deserve to be adored.
You deserve to feel like you deeply and completely love and accept yourself - all of yourself.
You deserve to have the great love that you are looking for.

Love you, moon goddess!
Catie

Self-Guided Retreat

Happy Sunday! How was your weekend?

This was the first weekend in forever that I've been in the city - and consciously made "no plans plans." In the past, this would have driven me bananas, but I've learned to value creating space in my life.
As a result, what I ended up doing this week was leading myself through a mini-retreat and I wanted to share how you can do one too.
Your self-reflection question this Sunday is simply... do I need to create more space in my life to just BE?
Retreating/spending time consciously creating quiet and space with the intention to gain clarity by connecting with your intuition and the Universe/God/Source/Guides is a spiritual practice to reconnect and recalibrate your energy.
While self-created retreats are awesome, one of the biggest benefits of retreats is to be in the container of other likeminded people and to learn new things, so I would love for you to come join for my next retreat.

Alright, now I'll share the retreat I did this weekend below. I find doing it both days over the course of a weekend is great, but 24 hours is also perfect!
On the second day, I also added fasting, which is a practice where you refrain from eating for anywhere from 16-36 hours to give the body a rest, to cultivate discipline and to signal rest.
Are you going to do it?
Let me know how it goes!

Lots of love,
Catie

Self-Guided Retreat

1. Let yourself wake-up whenever you want to
*** Check your phone and social media because you're about to go dark on it
2. Meditate
3. Journal whatever if on your mind that day, what you're grateful for, and what you're really wanting to happen
4. Go to a yoga class - get there in silence, doing a walking meditation of observing the sounds/watching people
5. After yoga, come back and drink lots of water and make a tea
6. Create space for the afternoon to do whatever most calls of you within your living space, but keep yourself in silence/a quiet space, or else listen to calming, ambient music. (you can find my playlist - dream the dream - on Spotify). The key here is to restrict external stimuli, which is why you stay cocooned primarily in one space
*** Make sure you're staying off your phone, or only looking at it at conscious, specific times once every few hours just for the purpose of responding - no social media!
7. Spend part of the day reading something inspirational and uplifting or a spiritual text
8. Spend time cleaning and clearing your space, showing reverence to your space
9. Nap, rest, stretch as your body intuitively guides you to
10. Reflect on the question "what do I need to know right now, and are there any actions for me to take..." - ask this each hour or two
*** The reason you ask this question later in the day is because you should be finding that you are more clear to hear the whispers of your intuition/inner voice
11. Free write the answer to that question above, and wait for any other spontaneous insights to come
12. Later in the afternoon/early evening, do yin yoga or restorative yoga - either go take class, or lead yourself through practice or follow a video
13. Come back for further quiet and rest - spend time in quiet reflection, meditation, journaling, or reading.
14. Have a long hot shower or bath - cleansing yourself and your energy body as you do - with the prayer of "please release and shed any energies not serving me in this moment..."
15. Do a self massage by rubbing warmed oil all over your body, thanking your body for housing your beautiful soul and for all it does
16. Put on a hair mask and sleep with it in (you can use your regular conditioner or a deep one, or coconut oil)
17. Put on a face mask (I love the new detox me from FRE - (CATIEFENN25 will give you a 25% discount), or the GLOW peel off ones from Aveeno).
18. Write out the things that you are grateful for in your life in your journal before bed
19. Make magnesium calm or another hot bev, drink it - and then head to bed....
REPEAT.

The key here is that you have consciously created SPACE by minimizing as much distraction as possible - for example, by primarily staying within your living space, rotating your activities through ones which calm and focus your mind such as journaling, meditation, yoga, and cleaning.

Course Correct, Learn and Own It!

There are a few things that I've been wanting to talk to you about...
(This is a liiiil long, but I have things to say!)

Deeper teachings and wisdom about modern spirituality and how to weave it into your life. (YAY)
Conscious dating, empowered singleness, relationships and relating. (More 1:1 coaching and an online program on being single, conscious dating and MAN-ifesting)
Embodiment, befriending the body, and learning to process un-processed memories and feelings through the body. (Sharing more of the embodiment work I've been doing with women with eating disorders with you too, and cathartic releasing of old, unprocessed memories).
The thing that's so interesting about being "employed by the Universe", is that I try not to get in the way of the messages I'm being called to share, or the creative process of the programs or retreat experiences I'm called to create.
Sometimes I get called to share deeper messages, and sometimes lighter ones.

I try and blindly follow the calls and "downloads", and trust that they'll land with the right souls at the right time.

I've wanted to share a lot more about conscious dating and break-ups, being single, relationships, and calling in the KING for so long, and only now feel called to.
Same goes with deeper teachings on modern spirituality, and embodiment work (which is about reconnecting with, trusting, and grounding back into your body).
After my vacation to France (which can we talkkkkk about the magic that went down there?!), I have an even greater commitment to simply staying in integrity with myself, my path, and the messages, programs and retreat experiences the big Uni asks me to share.

My true desire is that they help you in creating the soulful, aligned, abundant, and brimming with love life you deserve.

Alright, so tonight's message is about...

Course correcting!

In my last post, I wrote about Durga and then received an e-mail from a fellow member of this community highlighting how I had failed to acknowledge how Durga is a Hindu Goddess, and that my practices of chanting, calling her in, and contemplating her energy were all consistent with practicing Hinduism - which I failed to note.
While not intentional at all, I had totally failed to honour that. It gave me a good reflection point on making sure that I'm being mindful of my privilege, and to give full honouring and credit to the teachings I share.
When we make a mistake or get out alignment, here's the process:

Take ownership - learn from it - and course correct moving forward.

Similarly, later that day I was out in France with new boyfriend Chris and he left me outside while he went inside to order food.
In the 10 minutes he was gone, the guy seated next to me and I proceeded to get INTO IT about his life, how he wants to leave his marriage, and some other intimate details of his life. I was encouraging him to get honest with himself about what he really wants... when Chris came back to the table.
Un-phased, he was not remotely surprised that I was getting into a not-so-casual heart-to-heart with a stranger, but later said - "you know, do you consider that maybe people don't want to get into it so deeply all the time?"
Meaning, maybe the 30 year old dude just wanting to go out for a beer and get some food wasn't looking to bare his soul to a stranger that night.
I've gotten into the habit of just diving in with others every day in my work that it was actually such a helpful perspective to get back to "humanness" and to remember to really tune into whether someone is ready/wanting to open up or not before I proceed with questions.

Take ownership. Course correct. Consider it moving forward.

Is there something that you need to course correct right now?
Have you been heading in one direction that now you're kind of over? Have you been disconnected from your body and are ready to reconnect? Have you said something you wish you hadn't? Have you gotten out of alignment in any way?

Own it. Course Correct.

How can you pivot your ship and do better moving forward? Beginning today?
They key is not to judge yourself - instead, extend compassion to yourself for being human - and course correct again.

Lots of love,

Catie

Durga - the powerful feminine

Recently I found out my most played song of any recent summer was not some cool summer anthem, but - Ma Durga by David Newman.

Durga is a major archetype of Shakti - the powerful feminine. She is the powerful, courageous, fierce, compassionate and loving goddess within.

You can invoke Durga energy when dramatic, massive inner breakthroughs are happening. She is a warrior goddess, yet always maintains her serenity and compassion.  

Are you going through some pretty big changes right now?

Are you needing to cultivate courage and resiliency?

Are you in the smoke of know that you're being guided and learning a lesson, but are just not sure what, exactly, the universe is trying to teach you - then the goddess for you. 

Archetypes can be used to help us access qualities or energies we may temporarily be lacking or seeking to grow into. 

I personally find that using the different goddess archetypes has been a helpful way to access and explore more aspects of the feminine energy - as Shakti - or the divine feminine is so multi-faceted. 

Try reading Sally Kempton's work on the goddesses as she has a great overview of some of the primary archetypes. 

Then, sing to them, write to them, meditate and invite them in, and then consciously consider what it would be like to emulate them. 

For example, when I needed to be more fierce and courageous like Durga, I would imagine Durga in all of her glory and in battle, and what those qualities were like, and then worked on actually cultivating those qualities inside. 

This is no different from meeting a woman in your life and feeling inspired by her, and then feeling inspired to mirror some of wisdom or qualities. 

A few summers ago, I had a double broken heart, had taken a massive risk I regretted, and was in the “smoke” of knowing that I was being guided by spirit but in the uncomfortable ache of a lot of pain and confusion.

I didn’t yet understand what I was learning, even if I one day trusted I would. 

The archetype of Durga helped me SO much that summer. I read about her, sang to her, listened to music about her, and focused on cultivating her qualities of fierce yet graceful power, and gentle tenacity to weather the “battle” like a warrior.

If you’re feeling defeated right now, try invoking Durga within, meaning the part of  you that IS fierce and powerful, yet loving and compassionate. Invite Durga in by saying “I invite you - Durga - into my life” - and see what happens. 

If you have any further questions about playing with archetypes - let me know!

Happy Sunday. 

Lots of love,
Catie

Friday [July 19] Favourites

Happy Friday! Here is your weekly dose of things that are bringing inspiration into my life that I think you might love. 


Favourite Book: You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero
This book is one of my favourite ones when comes to wealth, tapping into abundance, and owning all of our desires when it comes to money.
If you've got a "money story" you're looking to bust - this is a great read. Also stay tuned for a future money course from me in the future - so many of you are in that money struggle story and its time to shift it, queen!!! 

Favourite meal delivery company: Athlete's Kitchen
I ran into the owner of this on the street after the Raptors finals and it ended up leading to me getting to hear about his company and trying the products.  I have LOVED everything about it and am a full convert - and say this genuinely.
I've tried a few meal delivery services in the past and honestly they were all just not great - and a lot didn't have great paleo or veg options for those of us living our best gluten free/dairy free lives.  So easy to order, not super expensive and so healthy. You can take a look here

Favourite quote/poem: Rumi 
“Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you.
Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.
Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.”

Favourite dating app: Hinge
Some of you may know that I had a strong stance on dating apps - which is that they should be used with CAUTION, and that the Universe will probably send you some of your most awesome matches organically.
I say with caution because I think they can be a distraction/bring up a sense of lack/insecurity/judgment - so need to be tread with lightly. 
However, if you are feeling called to dip your toes into one - I've heard so many great stories lately of people who met on Hinge. 

Favourite card: True Love - Guinevere, Doreen Virtue 
“The romantic stirrings in your heart have propelled the universe to deliver great love to you.”
Message from Guinevere: “Romance is not an outmoded concept-far from it! Romance is the time honored precept of merging with the Divine as it is manifest within another human being. Romance is also playfulness, which heralds springtime, flowers, and new life. You need not be in a partnership to evoke romance, however. You can manifest it for yourself through laughter, surrounding yourself with beauty, and indulging in luxurious treats. Romance is the life force of the universe, and it is a worthwhile goal indeed!”

FULL MOON IN CAPRICORN

Tonight is the full moon in Capricorn AND a partial solar eclipse that relates to the same one that we had last year around this time.

Eclipses are nothing to fear - but they can be intense.

Think of it as a big PUSH in the direction of what you want - or a big unearthing of what you need to let go of in order to go forward toward what you desire.

When the push is this big there are only two options: resist it and be blown apart (spiritual smackdown style) or risk it all and allow yourself to be born anew from that place. 

Sometimes you have to lose a lot to gain a lot - and that's the risk of the game.

While the energy around this time can bring about abrupt changes, just remember that this is just an amplifying energy - meaning that these changes or shifts were inevitable, its just as if some rocket fuel or power was added to whatever was going to happen anyway. 

This moon is a big time for us to purge, release, and say goodbye to something related to a theme that began back last summer. 

Here's the fun part!!! Let's go through your cosmic journey the past while.

1. July 13-14, 2018 was the first eclipse in this series.  What happened in your life then? This was the first one so would have signified the first major theme of this story for you.  Did something big change for you then?

Look at work, relationships, family, friends, yourself, etc. If you were following along here, I would have shared with you what area of your chart was affected. 

2.  January 5-6, 2019 was the second one.  Same thing - what was happening then and how did it relate to what happened back in July the year prior?

3. Tonight! + the 17th  This is the final one so you're looking at how this has all culminated.  What final pieces need to be shed in order for this story to be complete? How has what happened back in July last year allowed you to be reaping the rewards or changes of what you're now experiencing? 

To make sense of this for you, I'll share - back on July 13, 2018 was when I told my firm I was leaving/officially shedding my law life and identity.  It was a massive change in terms of my lifestyle - even though I had been coaching and leading retreats for years. 

On January 5-6, 2019, I was getting on a plane to go work in Barbados because I was finally rooted in that location-free lifestyle of running my business full time, had happily been coaching, leading retreats and soul school and six weeks to shine, and the business had consistently been thriving such that I was able to gift my sweet parents to come on the trip as well. 

Today, I'm about to get on a plane later this week to go to France on vacation - with a new love.  When I was last in France at 21, I promised myself I would go back when I was a boss-lady and could actually have the means to fully enjoy the country's beauty and abundance. 

This is my first official/absolutely no work vacation just for myself in two years, and I am SO excited. 

But I see now how had I not let go of the law life when I did last summer in order to step into being employed by the Universe full time, I wouldn't have:

a) been in the financial place to take the type of trip I wanted/for the amount I am
b) been rooted enough in the flow of my business to be able to take off and have everything run smoothly to fully days disconnect
c) been able to open my heart and develop a relationship with someone who loves adventures but lives in a different city had I not created a life with a lot of freedom to travel built in

You see - it was all divine.  It always. 

Do you see how there was a story being woven of the themes of your life in the past while were all leading you to THIS moment?

Similarly - you might be seeing if you've been resisting making some changes in your life that began back in July, that the universe is giving you a swift KICK to actually do that now. 

How's it going?! Let me know!!!

Connecting with our Intuitive Voice

Connecting with our intuitive voice, the guiding voice, or the voice of our soul, is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.

It has the blueprint for our life, and can help keep us in the flow of allowing that blueprint to unfold.

When things are happening easily, effortlessly, and with synchronicity, our intuition has been guiding us, telling us where to go, what to do, and what to say.

The intuitive voice is trying to speak all the time, but we block it out. It floats out as we get quiet, but then we allow the noise back in and for our mind to clamp in and dampen the voice of the deepest, wisest part of us.

A few years ago, I had an old friend keep popping into my head. We had lost touch and hadn't spoken in over a year. We were in different stages, and so I was honouring that there wasn't a resonance between us anymore, knowing that as life shifts, we would likely come back into touch again. 

Friendships always ebb and flow.

But I kept getting this feeling like he was frustrated for some reason. I assumed it was about me for that reason - was he mad that I had moved in a different direction with my life and that I hadn't been reaching out? But he could reach out too! He hadn't been.

And yet - I kept feeling that I should reach out to them. Maybe they were frustrated we had lost touch too but felt weird to reach out.  All I knew was that something was off with them.... and yet...

I still didn't reach out. For months. 

My mind kept blocking out the intuition, even though normally I always let it guide me. It kept saying "Why reach out? You're in different stages. He could message you if he's the one that's frustrated. You don't have time to maintain your connections with everyone.  Let it go." 

I later found out that at the same time several months prior that the friend kept popping into my head, he was dealing with a tragedy of the sudden loss of one of the closest people in his life. What I was picking up on was that he, himself, was frustrated and exhausted, and needed a friend.. and I hadn't reached out. I had no idea.

Spirit kept putting him into my intuition so that I could reach out, and I kept denying the call.

Luckily, I was able to reach out once I found out and we were able to reconnect.  

Often when someone pops into our head the reason is different than what we think - but trust that its always for a reason. 

An old friend might be going through a hard time, or someone you met once might be moving to a new place that you're supposed to visit.  An old boyfriend might be popping into your head not because you need to get back together, but because there's deeper work for you to unravel in your journal about what they meant to you.  

Spirit works in mysterious ways! 

Now I always maintain the rule - if someone pops into my head, I reach out to them right away. Often to just say hi - but there's always some divine reason. 

This week when you get that "tug tug" - that notion that you should reach out to someone, walk in a different direction, or say something to a stranger. Do it. Trust it. Trust that your intuition is never leading you astray and is always guiding you back to love - for yourself AND for others.

Love you, 

Catie


Friday [July 12] Favourites

Happy Friday! Here is your weekly dose of things that are bringing inspiration into my life that I think you might love. 

Favourite spiritual teacher: Ram Dass

While there have been many different profound teachers on my journey, Ram Dass is always the teacher I come back to.  There's a podcast of his teachings available that you can check out if you want to start to dive into his wisdom.

Ram Dass follows a Bhakti path - meaning that he believes that love is the core of who we are and what we're here to do, and that everything in life is ultimately an expression of love, and learning to love more deeply.

Favourite poem:  Rumi - the Guest House 

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi,

translation by Coleman Barks

Favourite Intuitive Medium for Channeled Messages: Lorraine Manners

If you've followed me for a while, you'll know that Lorraine and her ability to channel messages from spirit has been a real assist to me in terms of gaining clarity and confirmation on my path.  (She channeled messages about me starting Circle, the types of women I would connect with, Costa Rica and my connection to it... and obviously #soulmatechris). 

You'll get the message that you need - which isn't always the message you want. 

But for those of you looking to open up to your connection to spirit - she's a great person to connect with here


Favourite product for travel: Fre Glow Facial Lotion

You can find this here and use "CATIEFENN25" to purchase, but mannnn between sweating and sunning and travel, my skin has been hit with a lot of changes lately and this baby has been keeping my skin hydrated and glowing despite it all. 

Favourite Oracle Card: Caressa - Doreen Virtue Deck

"You are at the end of a cycle in your life. Call upon your angels to comfort you, and to guide you to your next step. Happiness awaits you."

This card reminds us that we are always in a cycle of letting go of the old so that the new can enter - and that any new changes in your life are ultimately positive.  

Right now I'm back in NYC continuing to develop my relationship with a wonderful New Yorker - but its bringing up some personal work in letting go/shifting parts of my vision that I had for myself when a cross-border romance wasn't in the cards.  The idea is that the universe always has better plans for us than what we can imagine, so we have to let go of the way we thought things "should be" to embrace the beauty and mystery of what is.

Love you.

Catie


CAMP SOUL RETREAT

September 28-30, 2019 at the lake!!!! 

Time to disconnect to reconnect.

Time to just be. 

Time to explore - not only your mind, your connection to your body, but also your heart.

Time to expand what's possible for you.

Time to gift toward filling yourself up. 

Time to gain a powerful new tribe supporting you every step of the way. 

Time to take off the mask and be who you really are.

Time to play - just as you did when you were a kid. 

You can register here. 


I would LOVE to see you there.  

Do you have questions?

Some of the most common ones are:

1. When do I pay? You secure your spot with a $200.00 deposit - after that the remainder is due beginning of September.  If you need a payment plan let me know. 

2. Where is this? 1.5 hours outside of Toronto at Camp Hollows

3. What does it entail? 3 days of programming (but arrive Friday after work), designed to get you to reconnect with your soul, your power, and all of your magnetism so that you can feel REFRESHED and ready for an epic fall ahead.

4.  What does it include? Accommodation, all your delicious healthy meals, 2 daily yoga classes, 2 daily workshops designed to help you gain clarity and connect with your heart and purpose, evening ceremonies, as well as camp activities. 

5. How do I register? Follow the link here, or e-mail me and I'll get you hooked up.

Summer Comparison

Firstly, the early bird ends for Camp Soul Retreat September 28-30, 2019 on Wednesday.  Want to come? Imagine all things retreat but with the addition of fun camp activities! Ask me any questions.  Can't wait to see you there!!

Secondly, let's talk about Summer comparison.

You're scrolling through your social media, and you think "my life is not as cool as theirs..." 

Or you're walking down the street and you think "I wish I could wear that but... [enter limiting body belief/self-criticism]"

Or you're at a wedding and suddenly questioning your single status or evaluating your own relationship and whether you seem as happy as the other couples. 

Or you're feeling kind of wonky and comparing yourself to everyone else who is seemingly feeling so happy all the GD time. 


I see you.  I get it - and I've totally been there, but comparison is such a thief of joy and isn't serving ANYONE. 

Here's a sweet reminder - whatever you did this weekend - whether it was going to an epic backyard bbq and getting into the wine, of reading reclusively, or feeling overwhelmed, or travelling somewhere incredible, or unpacking your feelings over a recent break-up or having a little meltdown was PERFECT.

Summer can bring up a lot of "should have" or "my life seems boring in comparison to" or "I'm exhausted by I should probably push through because #fomo" or "my life seems so different from theirs now" or "it's sunny out now - why do I still feel so off?" 

There is a season for everything.  Wherever you're at right now is perfect - be with it.  Own it. But don't compare where you're at or your journey or choices to others.  Instead, own your choices Own and accept that your life is always, always, always unfolding exactly as its supposed to. 

The last two summers were really hard for me so I was a lot more introspective, and spent more time processing and healing than having fun and enjoying that easy breezy life - but it was a season - and instead of resisting it, I learned to embrace it. It was a season.

This summer, I've revelling in the sweetness of summer because my summer finally feels like a "summer" again with the themes of abundance and celebration, but for you - it might be more of a winter this year.  That's okay! 

The only person you ever should compare yourself to is yourself, and how each stage of your journey has brought you to the perfection of this exact moment. 


Your self-reflection Sunday journal prompt is to write out what you are grateful for from this last weekend.  Did your quiet time feel delicious? Did you time with friends feel expansive? Wherever you're at - light or dark - find the beauty in it. 

It'll all pass - so BE wherever you are. 

Love you, 

Catie


P.S. Camp Soul September 28-30 Retreat!!! Want to come? E-mail me for more details. 

Friday [July 5]Favourites


Happy Friday! Here is your weekly dose of things that are bringing inspiration into my life that I think you might love. 


Favourite hotel booking site: Priceline

I've been traveling a lot recently, and many of you are this summer too, and still consistently am finding that Priceline has the best rates, particularly if you choose a "secret sale."  Usually they'll give you an accurate hint of the hotel that's secret by saying "someone else just got..." 


Favourite quote:
  “It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.” - Ram Dass 

Favourite City: NYC

I've been having the most incredible love affair with NYC recently.  I've always found the best time to visit (aside from the holidays) is in September because the weather is a little cooler and the city is back in action, so if you're looking for a quick weekend getaway let me know and I can send you over some tips!


Favourite woman I'm admiring right now: Jac Shaw and Robyn Savage, @forthewildfemme

I've loved these women for a long time, but have been super digging their new podcast!! You can check it out/their site here.  I helped Jac through her spiritual smackdown - which was when her husband casually left her for his trainer (who was NOT kind - to say the least), while she was 2 months pregnant (after having suffered a difficult conception journey to begin with).  Ultimately, I helped guide her to use that as an opportunity to heal herself and connect with her spirituality, and she eventually even healed her marriage.  


Favourite perspective: "What if it's easy?"