I’m getting married on June 11, 2022.
90 days before the wedding is March 13, 2022.
And, 3 weeks before that date is now.
If you know me, you know that I love my Capricorn Moon tendencies to plan and schedule things out by dates and timelines.
I’m really excited to get married, and in that process, I’ve already been reflecting on and getting clear on what marriage means to me, and how I want to enter into this rite of passage in as much alignment with what’s true for me as possible.
A lot of my wedding planning is just centering around the idea of: What would be the best experience for everyone involved? What would make this experience feel special? How much love can be poured into one weekend?
And before we get into the final 90 days before the wedding, there’s this 3 week period where Chris and I are apart. Intentionally. As part of the process.
This is a good thing because honestly Chris and I spend…almost all our time together. I am obsessed with him and always love spending time with him. It still is such a gift to me to have this be my reality after I wanted to meet him for SO LONG and never gave up hope that this magical human was out there somewhere.
While us spending so much time together is a good thing and really beautiful, I think consciously creating time of separation is healthy in any relationship.
(PS for those of you who are single and are getting panicked at the idea of spending so much time with someone (hands up to all of my other avoidant attachment QUEENS out there!), I just wanted to say that I never envisioned that I would have the type of relationship that was like this (since..avoidant attachment style), but alas, sometimes the Universe gives you what your soul actually desires and needs most to heal (ie: having this type of closeness and stability with Chris has been the most healing, comforting thing to have helped me move through my attachment issues).
Chris is my favourite person, and so aside from the fact that we obviously live together and both work from home, we end up spending all our time together because we like doing so many of the same things. So much of us has become intertwined, that it’s always a good thing to create pockets for things that are just for him or just for me.
Why 3 Weeks?
Originally I was supposed to be leading two retreats in Costa Rica during this time, with a week in between to rest.
While I don’t usually do retreats back to back, I was keen to get back to them, and it felt like the right thing to do.
I started to get excited about the idea of being in “pure goddess mode” – my ultimate mode on retreat – for these 3 weeks before any wedding related activities begin.
This plan ended up shifting as one of the retreats was put on pause, but the other one went ahead, but was already on board about the vision I had of myself using this time intentionally to tap into my divine feminine really consciously.
Chris then had a friend reach out to do a back-country ski trip the week that was supposed to be my rest week, and we both thought it was a great idea for him to go.
I was then really excited about the idea that Chris would do a “divine masculine” type of trip (although he wouldn’t call it that) where he’s in the deep mountain wilderness, literally mountaineering and hiking up mountains on skis, off the grid, with a bunch of guys, while I would have the same time to dive deep into my divine feminine.
The Divine Masculine Gets Activated By…
The divine masculine gets activated by time spent active (check), with others who have a lot of masculine energy (check), deep in nature (check), being able to be away from everything (check), being wild (check), pushing (check), being physically in intense situations to active the hunter archetype (check), staying in alignment with goals and purpose (check).
This mountain trip in the middle of nowhere, where each day they have the focus of the site that they are getting to, have to push themselves physically, get the rewards after all the hard days of scaling mountains on skis of skiing down on fresh powder, get to be off the grid with a bunch of other awesome guys…was the most perfect way for him to connect with his divine masculine.
Look at this insane cabin they are staying in!
The Divine Feminine Gets Activated By…
The divine feminine, on the other hand, gets activated by delighting in rest, sensuality, self-nurturance, stillness, creativity, connecting with intuition, and collaboration and connection with others.
This is so much of the work that we do on the Journey to the Heart Retreat, so I have it built in on the retreat, but I’m also using the time I have at home before I arrive, my pre-retreat days in Nosara, Costa Rica, and the retreat itself to help me tap so deeply into my divine feminine.
3 weeks of divine feminine magic!
This just means I’m being really intentional to do the things that light me up, move my body in my own goddess flows that help me feel embodied and radiant, am nourishing myself, and spending a lot of time in quiet, reflection and meditation.
In addition, I’m taking time to connect with girlfriends and mother nature!
Why Both Being in Our Divine Masculine and Feminine is Important
When I was single, I used to be obsessed with this image, because it illustrated what I wanted to have.
I truly believe that Chris is the perfect divine masculine match for my energy.
In the Big Love Course, I teach a lot about how to hone in on the energy of the partner that you want to call them in.
Chris is the exact energy that I always called in before we met, and to me, represents that balance of energy that I also need.
In that, I think that attraction and connection comes from polarity – the opposite balance of what you are.
The idea behind this time apart is for him to really root into his own sovereign energy, and for me to be able to root into mine, so that we can continue to rise together into this new chapter we’re embarking in.
I’m excited for Chris to come back from his journey connected to his masculine, and I’m going to back from mine fully in my feminine, and that we can join back together again for the 90 days before the wedding in that place.
Consider Doing This With Your Partner – or in the Future!
If you are in relationship, it can be such a gift to give this to you and your partner. It need not be 3 weeks like we are having, but instead, could just be a day or a weekend for you both to consciously do and explore things that help you tap into yourself.
Coming into this place where you are deeply in your feminine and they are deeply in their masculine can create such a beautiful interplay of connection between you two.
Concluding Thoughts…on Weddings and Rites of Passage
As with any rite of passage, there’s so much tied up in tradition.
As I move closer to my wedding, I keep thinking and evaluating what feels most authentic and aligned for me – and breaking the mould and creating new experiences and practices for myself in the process.
Remember that as with everything, you get to create your reality, your life, and your experience however you want it to be.