A few years ago I realized that I had fallen prey to the illusion of success that many of us have. I believed that if I had the perfect job, the perfect relationship, the perfect condo and the perfect trips, I would be successful and therefore complete.
A classic over-achiever, I learned through one too many viewings of after-school Oprah that I was responsible for my life. Always the planner, when I was seventeen I wrote out my vision for where I wanted to be when I "grew up", which entailed working as a lawyer on Bay St., living in downtown Toronto near the CN tower, dating a guy that most definitely wore a suit, and taking trips around the world.
As an over-achiever, the idea of this perfect life was alluring.
It was only once I ticked every item off on this checklist that the sparkle in my life began to fade and I was left disillusioned and lost. I had no clear sense of purpose or connection, despite everything I had built. If this is what I was working toward for so long, I thought, why didn't it feel that good once I finally achieved it?
Not even finished my twenties I thought,
"Is this all there is?"
I was so stressed out and on edge with the demands I faced in my daily life. Between my law practice and other commitments, I thought I didn’t have any time to spend figuring out why I was feeling so stuck. Instead, I did what many of us do, and I scheduled over, Netflixed over, dated over, drank over, hit the gym over, and worked over the feeling of discord.
As each part of my life started to crumble, I was being called to something more, something beyond what I was currently living. A path that my soul had already chosen, but which I was unaware of at the time.
That was, until I faced a spiritual smackdown. It was February 1st, 2014 and I woke up hungover. I had spent over a year running from my biggest fear, which was admitting that I wasn't happy even though I finally had the life I always wanted. I stepped outside into the brisk Winter air, and as I felt the cold pierce my skin and watched the sun illuminate the white snow around me, a voice came over me that said:
ENOUGH YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIVING THIS WAY
After years of searching outside of myself for happiness, for success, for love, for everything I thought I needed and wanted – this spiritual smackdown stormed into my life to awaken me, crack me open and let the light back in to guide me to my true purpose. It was only the beginning.
The universe was always speaking, but now I was ready to listen.
I began to look within for my answers, for the very first time in my life. I turned within to find my happiness and the love that had been waiting there for me all along. Experiencing freedom from fear amidst the uncertainty of my life, then deconstructing what it was about, was the most liberating thing I had ever experienced. This was a whole new world to me – one where I was in charge of how I felt.
I began receiving signs, spontaneous insights, and tapped into a deep well of inner wisdom that put the puzzle pieces of my journey together, leading me to discover the love within me – self-love. My heart radically opened to others in my life and to the world, all leading me to my life’s purpose.
This is what happens. The moment we’re ready and willing, the universe conspires for us and begins to create a new, higher, brighter path, leading us into the light and into a life that is beyond our wildest dreams and expectations.
Are you ready to come home to yourself and live the life you are meant to be living?