Your Positivity Will Piss People Off - How to Deal with Negativity

Your positivity is going to piss people off, Your realness will rattle others, and that’s okay

I arrived at the airport yesterday to go on a new adventure and lead my retreat and I ducked under the partition to go and drop my bag off.  “What are you doing?!” the young flight employee barked at me.  “Where’s your flight? You don’t even have bag tags on your bag.”  Her words and energy carried the same dull blue colour of her uniform.

“Whoa.” A small smile emerged from me. “It’s okay.  I’m just trying to drop my bag off.  Everything is okay.”

I’ve shared with others my career aspirations, and I’ve been met with criticism: “You’ll work all the time.  You’ll have no time to spend with your family. You’re never going to meet a guy if you’re doing that.”

I also work as a litigator in a profession that is inherently combative and adversarial, where individuals are swept into the legal process and under extreme stress, which can the perfect breeding ground for low-vibe behaviour.

The week prior I had a person involved in one of the litigation files I am counsel on insinuate that I was I incompetent to handle the file because of my age.  I get it – I look young – but it doesn’t take away from the legal degree hanging on my wall or my six years of experience practicing. 

Or let’s talk about that time where I put myself on national television to be subject to people repeatedly commenting that I was “crazy” and “desperate” and “too much” for being in touch with my emotions in an isolating environment or having an expressive face.

As you, my love warriors, continue to rise, you’ll be met with more and more negativity.  Your light and authenticity can be blinding or uncomfortable for others.  Your positivity will piss some people off.  Your realness will rattle others, and that’s okay. 

Here’s the thing with negativity: it’s always their own stuff.  You are simply a mirror. The more that you can stay grounded in that, the more you become able to let negativity bounce off of you. 

Step 1: Is it true?

If you feel affected by the comment, ask yourself: is it true? The only way that a comment can really bother us is if somewhere deep down we believe it’s true too. If there’s a part of you that still believe it’s true, it’s time to do some reflecting on why you believe that limiting story.  At the same time, it might also be time to reflect and see if you need to clean up some of your own behaviour.  Maybe you have gotten caught up in your ego and need to connect back into your heart. 

When I was first practicing law I would get comments all the time about my age.  It used to trigger in me a whole spiral when I would get those comments because part of me still believed that it was true that I was too inexperienced or young to be able to do my job well – which wasn’t true at all.  I had to do some work around unravelling that story.

Step 2: Find the compassion – you are simply a mirror

The next step is to find compassion for the other person.  It truly is someone who hasn’t healed an area of themselves, or opened up to a new way of being, or is failing to be honest about how they are feeling, that is going to project undue criticism or negativity.

Your positivity is too much for someone who is in victim mode, or your passion for life might be too much for those who are lacking clarity around their own life and failing to take responsibility for it.  The way you look might trigger someone else’s own insecurities.   Your authenticity might bother people who find it difficult to be real. Have compassion for where they are at, knowing that you are simply triggering something in them, and forge ahead.  It’s not personal.

Step 3: Hold Space for the Negativity without Reacting

Someone else’s fire does not need to be met with your own fire.  They also don’t need to be told to just “be more positive”. Instead, be the mirror.  Acknowledge how the other person is feeling and hold a calm, open presence, letting the negativity bounce off of you.  Eventually their own negativity will stop in that mirror. 

A Course in Miracles says: “in my defenselessness my safety lies.” Meaning, when someone is being negative, we don’t need to react back to it, fuelling the fire.

Step 4: Remove Yourself from the Negativity

Remove yourself from the person who is negative, or the space that breeds that negativity.  Remove the negative comments from your feed, or delete the negative text.  Your space – whether it’s in your physical surroundings or online – is sacred.  Remove the negativity from it.

Step 5: Clear the Space

If you’re still feeling funky about it, you can clear your energy through any number of ways:

  • Putting your hands on a tree or the earth to ground the energy off of youl
  • Using a sage stick or palo santo smoke to get negative energy off of yourself;
  • Taking a long shower or bath and picturing the negative energy washing off of you as you wash yourself;
  • Going through a movement practice and set the intention to shake off whatever energy from other people is still stuck on you.

I hope this helps you.  Keep SHINING, my friend.  The world needs your light.



How to Let Go of the "How" and Manifest Anything

Ask and it is yours.  Truly.  It’s now no secret that I love manifesting.  I am a true believer that while we cannot control everything in our lives, and all outcomes, there is a lot that is within our power.  Our mind is powerful, and our free will to execute on the ideas that are presented to us is incredible.

One of the biggest stumbling blocks that I see with my coaching clients and at the Circle, however, is our mind getting in the way by trying to figure out the “how” of how things are going to happen.  Our minds love to think linearly, and make assumptions based upon prior experiences as to how things are going to unfold.  When our minds cannot conceive of how something is going to happen, it gets tripped up: “that’s impossible.” “that’s wishful thinking.” “there’s no way that’s a possibility.” “give up. pack it in. who are you to think that is possible" - thereby sabotaging us from receiving the very thing that we wanted.  

Our mind limits us from seeing and receiving the infinite possibilities for how what we want to have happen to materialize because it wants to only believe in what it knows and can control.  However, you have the power to choose again and choose a new story - a story where anything you want for yourself in your life is possible.  

There is a set process to manifest things:

1.Set the intention and get super, crystal clear on what you want and why you want it. 

Ensure that the ask is coming from your heart and not from your ego.  Get clear on why it is that you are asking for this.  will it create more feelings of love and expansiveness in you, or are you asking from a place of scarcity, lack of, or fear?

Believe it is possible, with conviction. Mantra:"everything I want for myself in my life is possible.";

2. Let go - both of the HOW this is going to happen, as well was in what WAY it happens

3. Act as if it's already happened.  Focus on the feeling.  How would it feel when this thing happens? Embody that energy now - because it's already happening.  You are becoming an energetic match for what you want to call into your life.  

4.Take inspired action as you feel called. 

Step two is often the hardest part.  Our mind wants to control, and wants to believe that it knows what’s best for us. How do you let it go? Firstly, trust that the universe is conspiring in your favour and will make what you have asked happen.  I know that seems hard at first.  The mind thinks it knows what's possible based upon prior experience, but the Universe makes the tides turn and trees grow so I'm pretty sure it knows what its doing.  Universal intelligence that is far smarter than your mind. 

There are an infinite number of ways how what you want to have materialize could show up.  You just need to trust it will - 100%.  All in.

Then let go - surrender completely.  Do not spend energy trying to control how this is going to happen.  Instead, trust that the wheels are already in motion, and you just go about your life – do the things that keep you feeling good.  You act as if the thing has already happened.  You embody the energy of the person you will be when that thing arrives.  For example, if you want more money, then start respecting money even more by paying your bills on time, paying off debt, spending within your means, or donating a portion of your current earnings to charity, like someone with lots of money would.  If you want to date someone amazing, then start treating yourself like you want that person to treat you.  

When you feel good, your mind is clear to receive the inspiration and wisdom it needs to execute on to bring your vision to fruition.  You will take action as you feel inspired to.  

Your heart/soul/intuition/inner guide might tell you to go to another coffee shop where you sit down beside someone who happens to be reading the exact book that you need to educate yourself for your dream job, or you might feel more open to reaching out to a contact when someone suggests it to you. You might feel the pull to walk down a new street where you run into a friend going to an event that changes your life, or you might feel super creative and begin to start writing a book.  Each day, be open to receive from your inner guidance what your next step is.  

Do not spend your time and precious energy dwelling on how to make things happen for yourself, and instead let things happen for you.    Trust that life can work out for you.  Trust that the Universe is friendly and not fearful - and wants to make your dreams come true.  Trust that life is working out for you.  Trust that the game is rigged in your favour. 

And so it is.  

Making 2018 Your Best Year Yet and the Life Hangover that Kicked my Ass into Gear

New Year’s Day 2014 I woke up hungover.

I remember everything about the night before.  I decided that I wanted to forgo hanging out with my girlfriends and their boyfriends because I wanted to party. 

Instead of spending time with the women who have championed me every step, and misstep, of my life, I ended up in a stranger’s house party speaking with people I barely knew, popping champagne, and making out at midnight with some guy who’s name I don’t remember.

The make-up. The blow-out.  The fancy dress.  The party. The new guy I just wanted attention from.  All of it. 

All of it was me masking what I didn’t want to feel inside, which was that I was lonely and disconnected.

Sometimes it seems obvious in retrospect.  If I wanted to feel connected, why did I choose to go to a party instead of spending time with the people who care about me the most?

What I know now is that sometimes our soul leads us to places that make us feel even more disconnected, more detached and lonely so that eventually we’ll wake up again.

2013 had been a whirlwind year for me.  It was the year that I admitted to myself that I wasn’t happy with my objectively perfect life, got out of a relationship with a person who loved me so deeply that I feared I would never meet anyone who would love me as much, and spent the remainder of the year running from answering the question of “if I’m not THAT person and THAT life that I always pictured for myself… then who am I? and what is my life about?” 

It was a heavy question.

While I could admit that life didn’t feel as good as it wanted to feel, I had no idea what this new vision for my life was, or even once I had it, how I would make it happen. 

I knew from previous experience that I could manifest anything, but the truth was, all I really wanted was just to feel happier. 

So 2014 was going to be the year.  The year that I would start to motivate myself to become a better person again.  To stop the spiral.  To stop running from myself and my own bullshit stories.  It was time to go deep, get dirty, and sort through the muck like the lotus blossoming from the mess around it, find the light in me again. 

It worked.  Over the course of 2014, my life profoundly shifted.  I felt happier than I ever had. I felt more connected and sure of myself than I ever had.  I had a powerful vision for my future.

At the end of the year, I spent New Year’s Eve 2014 in Vietnam, all my myself, but feeling so truly, completely at peace with myself, where I was, and how much I had grown. 

I gently laid a paper boat lantern down the Mekong river and watched it float away and thought to myself “this is just the beginning.”

So let’s begin. This is your year.  Your year to get unstuck, to love yourself more, to release what’s holding you down, and to remember that you can create anything you want for yourself in your life.  I’ve got your back. We’re in this one together. 

In this Vlog I share how to start your year by coming up with three or four words that will guide your year. 

Step One

How do you want to feel, most of the time? What theme do you want active in your life, most of the time?



Step two

What are three things that you can do this month that will help you feel the feelings that you have written out?

If you wrote: healthy. Cool. What is one thing you can do this month to feel healthy? Hit that spin class? Check.

If you wrote: beautiful. Okay. What makes you feel beautiful? Can you commit to doing that once this month?

If you wrote: inspired.  Neat.  What places make you feel most inspired? Can you go there once this month?

Keep remembering - small hinges swing big doors. This is the hinge, and you're about to swing the door for 2018 right open. 

Step Three

Get Support. Accountability.  Who is going to be your life "running buddy" for the year? Commit to what you are cultivating right now and this year out loud, to someone else. 

If you want to join our community in Toronto, head over to the events page and I'll meet you there to keep you accountable (January 10, 18 and 24 are our upcoming Circles). 



We Need To Talk About 2017: power, sweetness, courage, surrender

I knew 2017 was a year to level up and put myself out there in a big way. I had been doing so much growth, unravelling and learning for years prior that I was ready and so pumped to share all that I learned in a way more massive way.

As such, I set the intention of having a year filled with power, courage, sweetness and surrender.

I then set unrealistic intentions/goals that came from my heart in my journal (obvi):

  • I want to encourage 20,000 women to love themselves more unconditionally
  • I want to be featured in more media
  • I want to run a retreat
  • I want to live as an example of compassion, grace and courage
  • I want to run goddess circle twice a month
  • I want to transition to a plant based diet
  • I want to fall in love with an incredible man who supports me to level up
  • I want to have a consistent Mysore yoga practice
  • I want to have 3-6 coaching clients I work with a month
  • I want to do several speaking engagements

And holy F. Was I not given crazy opportunities by the universe to do all those things. Did they all happen the way I thought they would? Absolutely not. This year was massive about surrendering - trusting that if I was following the signs - that the things I wanted to happen just would.

Let’s look at how the Universe, spirit and my soul took me on a wild ass ride that ended up in me having all the things I VERY CLEARLY ASKED FOR come my way.  Having a tall, blonde, athletic Chris was only a tiny drop in the ocean of the things I actually asked for. 


This year, I started Goddess Circles.  I originally got the idea back in December to start them and wanted to put it off, but then my intuition actually yelled at me, “no. you’ll start now. You’re starting in January.” 

I was not ready, but I also felt really passionate about the idea.  I felt like when I was first exploring self-reflection, meditation, and personal growth  it was so isolating and I couldn’t find a conscious community that resonated with me.  I decided I would create what I wish existed, and what I still need today.

Entire the Circle. 

It has blown my mind to see the events sell out, for anywhere between 20-40 women show up every month to bear with me and one another their hearts and their dreams. The transformation I have seen in myself and the women in this beautiful community has blown my mind.  Truly. It is incredibly powerful.  If you haven’t come to one yet, please come join us.

It also took a lot of power for me to lead a group like this.  To own my leadership.  To know that I could lead because I had a lot I had studied, and could teach from that place and share my experiences, and was able hold the energy of the group.  I was so nervous at first, but now I feel in such a flow with it.  Power. 

Power also manifested in opportunities to start to share my story of learning that outward success was never going to lead to inner happiness.  I shared my story on stage to larger and larger groups.  Power.  I did a number of workshops on meditation and stress hacks for different corporate and University groups.  Power. 


This really came into play with my intentions for the year.  I wanted all of the above to happen, but had no idea how in the eff any of it was going to happen.  In particular, how I was going to inspire 20,000 to love themselves more unconditionally.  I knew I was doing the goddess circles, but I mean, how would I ever reach that many people?

Also, I knew I wanted to be featured in more media, and had been asked to do a number of podcasts and interviews on mindfulness, meditation, and self-love earlier this year, but then….

Enter going on national TV, connecting with an audience of millions and the media storm that ensued subsequent to that experience.

I did fall in love with incredible men who supported me to level up – twice.  Did either of them work out? No. The thing is with an open heart, you can extend that love to someone else truly unconditionally. That meant that while I extended that love in a big way to two different men this year (you can have a quick guess as to whether they were both named Chris, and both blonde, and both athletic… what are the chances?!), it can from a truly unconditional place of not expecting anything in return. I loved them because I did and wanted to extend that love.  Did my life end when it didn’t work out with either of them? No. 

I had done so much personal work in the past few years about learning to have a truly open heart that it was beautiful for me to look back this year and see that I was rooted enough in my own self-love to be able to vulnerably extend it twice this year to guys who ultimately could not give me what I was looking for.  Being single is such a gift for the growth it brings.

I knew I wanted a regular Mysore yoga practice.  When I was filming the Bachelor, I did mysore yoga every day when we were in Costa Rica because I couldn’t do anything else.  I finally did realize my daily yoga practice, if only for the month that we were filming there.  Since that time, I still do mysore a few times a month, which is technically still “regular”, but I just prefer Sheldon Shannon’s classes at Downward Dog because they are truly incredible and inspire me so much. 

All of the other things happened in ways I couldn’t imagine – I was approached about sharing my story of achieving all my goals by 25 and realizing that no external “thing” was ever going to make me happy and that true happiness and success are an inside job at a large speaking gig in the Fall, and led several workshops on how to incorporate meditation into your daily life where I share my story about why I am so passionate about it. 

The plant based diet came easily as a bi-product of my vibration continuing to change over the course of the year. Ram Dass says that eventually things fall away as we evolve, so to not try and push things like fasting or eating more plant-based until it feels natural. I found that my appetite for non-plant products naturally waned as my conscious continued to shift. 

I changed the way in which I coach, and transitioned it to “soul coaching/soul sessions”, and sure enough, now regularly have 6 coaching sessions a month. 

I wanted to lead a retreat, and then two girlfriends of mine who had both run retreats before asked if I wanted to collaborate with them.  Yes, please.  See you guys in Costa Rica next year.


This year was filled with so many sweet, magical moments.  Sweetness for life.  Amazing, beautiful trips to NYC, LA and Tulum with new and old friends.  Finding myself watching the moon rise in Tulum on top of a hotel, or dancing in a warehouse in NYC with other love warriors.  Going to one of my best friend’s weddings this summer and staying in a house in Niagara with my girlfriends.  Spending time at the cottage and in Florida with my family. Welcoming new, amazing, sweet souls into my life.

Sweetness came from learning, more and more, to be gentle with myself and sweet with myself, particularly as I navigated these new edges of radical self-acceptance and honesty.

Sweetness also came from loving myself through having this insane stress rash that broke out all over my torso in the summer just in time for bikini season after I got home from filming.  Turns out, you cannot flip your life upside down and the plug back into normal life and pretend everything is okay.  Your body will fight back. To be sweet with myself while patiently waiting for this skin flare up to go away (it took seven weeks) in the middle of the summer, was work. 

Lastly, sweetness came as I sat beside my ailing Nana, a woman so pivotal in me becoming the woman I am today, in our final moments together in Sunnybrook Hospital, holding hands with her, my mom and I in a circle, three generations of strong women, and telling her how much we loved her, how much she inspired us, how her legacy would live on, and how it was okay for her to finally let go.  


With that in mind, that whole "courage" thing I was seeking this year really manifested in a profound way. Try uprooting your life for two months just as the Circles were really grooving and I had a bunch of speaking engagements and workshops flowing my way, to go into isolation with strangers and film a TV show, then catapult yourself back into your "real life", and then watch it, and your most vulnerable and raw moments, get played back to a national audience.

I had no idea what doing reality TV would be like, and suffice to say, it took way more courage than I could have ever imagined at the time.  If I really want to inspire other people to love themselves more unconditionally – that means loving the beautiful, exciting, polished parts of yourself – and also loving the uncontained, unpolished, and unsavoury sides of yourself too – then I had to embody it in a huge way.  It takes tremendous courage to love yourself so fiercely.  All sides of you.  To get up every time that you’ve been smacked down.  To love yourself when things aren’t going to plan, or when you’ve made a decision and you’re not sure why you have. To love yourself when you're stressed.  To love yourself when you feel regret.

To actually have my jaw actually drop on national TV, but still exit with grace, and still be able to face Chris Leroux and the audience with an open heart, with compassion for where Chris is at and his decisions, as well as myself for how the experience unfolded, took a lot of courage. To be completely authentic and real and open, and to have persevered from an experience that was marked by a lot of pain for me, again, took courage.  

I had a lot of time where I “in the smoke” this year – that stage where things are not going to plan, or something has happened and you just don’t know why it is happening.  The answer is not supposed to come yet.  All you can do is love yourself through that, turn to your faith and grounding practices (for me that’s meditation, yoga, soul-cycle, deep connection with friends and family, nature and journaling) and wait it out until the smoke clears. Courage.

Love Warrior

The path of the love warrior is no effing joke, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. If you're doing to do life, why not try really being all-in, you know?

I hope this year review encourages you to remember that anything you want for yourself in your life is completely possible for you, but that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy.  Are you ready? If you ask the Universe, be prepared to level up.  Be prepared for it to fuck with your shit.  Be prepared to watch everything that is holding you back to be ripped from you.  But also be prepared for more love, more joy, more excitement and expansion than you have ever experienced before. 

And also be prepared for the best feeling – that feeling of looking back at all – and thinking “I DID THAT. I CREATED THAT.” 

You are incredible. You are so powerful.  You can have anything you desire. 

You got this. 

Owning Your Story: How to a Year in Review

HAPPY END OF 2017!!!! This is my favourite time of the year, truly, because it gives you time to reflect on that has been and all that is to come.

There is such power in OWNING our story, whatever the story was of 2017. What happened? Maybe you feel like a lot didn't happen, but when you take a moment, and really remember the person that you were at the beginning of this year and what you were doing, and then reflect upon all the tiny shifts and changes and things that unfolded all year, you'll realize that here you are - a completely different person. It's amazing.

In this video, I share what we did in the last Circle of the year, which was to go through and reflect on:

1. What were your five highlights of the year?
2. What were your five downfalls or things that did not go to plan?
3. What were the the curveballs or totally unexpected things that happen, and ultimately, what were you learning from those things? What lessons did you learn?

Catie Fenn

PS. My next GODDESS CIRCLE is JANUARY 10 at Misfit - tickets are online at Eventbrite now.

There's an UPTOWN Circle happening at BOD studio on January 18, andddd there's a SUNDAY NIGHT Circle happening January 21.

We normally sell out and our capacity is a sweet 35 people (talk about GOOD VIBES) so if you want to join message me so i can reserve your spot.

How Do You Really Feel?

how are you?

but really - how ARE you?

be honest, but then also be honest about whether you're choosing to stay in the light or choosing to to complain, dwell in negativity, or fear, or run a bullshit story you don't need to anymore

if you run the script that life is amazing. that good people come into your life every day. that you are supported. that your family loves you. that life feels exciting

that's what's going to show up

we just had winter solstice ❄️ which means it's time now to go inward. into the darkness so you can cruise back into the light. notice whether any of your narrative about life needs some cleaning up

Because life IS magical

Your Destiny is Now

boots on. parka on. tights on. ear muffs on. try not to freeze. try to make it into the office. try to focus in on the work on the laptop in front of me

we can get caught up in thinking we want to be anywhere other than where we are, right now, in this exact moment, but it's a trap

your destiny is in front of you right now. it's not some elusive moment ahead of you - some experience or place or person that's going to shift everything into place and then your destiny becomes realized

no, your destiny is right now. looking you in the face

if something feels wrong, change it. but if you take a pause, take a moment, wait there just a minute and think "oh yeah. oh right. okay. everything's just fine right now." take a moment and love on that fact. love on where you're at right now. you're just on your journey. love on the places you've gone and the places you'll go. love on the people you've met and dream of the people you've yet to meet. love on what's to come, by loving what's happening right now

My Top Books in 2017 for Inspiration

I love to read.  While I think there’s a balance between inputting new information and actually applying those principles to our life (if any of you have been in information overload, endlessly listening to podcasts, cruising the internet, or otherwise consuming content – it might be time to pause and take it all in instead).

One of the top questions I get from people is: what are my favourite books? In particular, what are my top self-help or spirituality books.

My top books of 2017 were:

  • The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer (top pick of the year)
  • Daring Greatly and Into the Wilderness by Brene Brown (on vulnerability and the courage to be yourself)
  • Be Love Now by Ram Dass (on spirituality and being a more loving, open, present person)
  • The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur (poetry on he human experience)
  • Journey of the Heart by John Wellwood (on conscious relationships and true partnership)

The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer topped it all off.  Michael Singer has led a truly inspiring life, building everything from a spiritual retreat centre in Florida to a 3 billion dollar company to a meditation program for incarcerated individuals. 

He would trust his heart, never listen to his mind’s preferences about opportunities, and instead would simply surrender to where life was flowing.  

In short, he decided to be completely open to life instead of closed and has been living an incredible like marked by success, ease, joy, and magic, which is the exactly the type of life I want to live.

As such, I went ahead and decided that 2017 would be my year of being completely open to life.  In other words, I was having my “year of yes.” 

I said “yes” to new experiences like the Bachelor when my mind was like “wtf”.  I said “yes” to going on a trip to Tulum with people I didn’t know who then became some of my closest friends. I said “yes” to starting goddess circle when my intuition pulled at me to start it, even long before my mind felt like I was ready. 

Even to more innocuous things; saying “yes” to 7 am spin class when my mind always wanted to say no and had the preference to sleep, “yes” to a more organic diet when my mind said it was more expensive, “yes” to meeting up with new person after new person, trusting that they had been brought into my life for a reason. 

For this reason, this book was my top pick of 2017.  It truly changed my life and how I live it – ushering me into a new way of being that is filled with more ease, flow, and excitement.

What are your favourites of the year? Let me know!



Getting Blinded: Manifesting and the Story of Soulmate Chris

Remember in grade school where there would be those posters on the wall that said “if you can dream it, you can do it” alongside other posters that stated “aim for the moon.  If you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” I think most of us got used to seeing these motivational posters lining our classroom walls that we forgot to let the messages really sink in.

In 2006, the book the book the Secret came out and it was a total game changer.  I was nineteen and the idea that our thoughts could create our reality, and that merely by coming up with a powerful vision for something, we could magnetize it to us, blew my mind.  At first I started with small things: I wanted to make $20.00 through only spare change and found pennies, then dimes, then quarters, and then random dollar bills floating along the streets.  I next experimented with grades at school, followed by the types of guys I wanted to date, followed by the type of job that I wanted to get for the summer, to more innocuous things like finding the perfect jumpsuit for an event.   

Eventually, I decided to write out the whole vision for my future life. Back in 2012, I took stock of where I and felt amazed that I was standing with two feet firmly planted in the life I had envisioned so many years prior. I really do believe that we can create anything we want for ourselves in our lives and that our power to manifest things is real. 

As many of you are aware, in the summer of 2016 I decided that I wanted to create a new vision of what I had been looking for in a partner.  This was not the first time that I had done this.  In fact, I had been doing this since I first came across the law of attraction when I was a teenager.

After dating a bunch of guys who were basically one shade off from another for several years, I decided I was going to date outside of my box and started to joke with my friends and family that I was simply looking for “soulmate Chris” after my intuitive told me that my soulmate was named Chris.

Eventually some of my friends tired of this non-descriptive description. In the span of one week in the Summer of 2016 I had three dinners in a row where three different friends asked me, “okay, but seriously, what are you looking for?”

I absolutely love dating and getting to know people, but the issue was that in the summer of 2016 I was about to launch my business and knew that the coming year was going to be busy as I would be juggling practicing law full time with running workshops. I decided that I was going to put dating on hold for the most part, and instead came up with an idea of what I was looking for and vowed that I would simply recognize it when I saw it. 

Yes, that person might be tall and athletic, but more importantly, I wrote out how this person would make me feel, what types of things we would do together, and how we would inspire one another

Nearly a year later, after a series of things aligned, I ended up on the Bachelor.  When I met Chris Leroux, he absolutely met the physical description I had carefully written out months prior, and there was always an ease between us. “This is insane,” my mind thought.  "Here I am on this TV show, and the guy meets my description of what I wanted to manifest, his name is Chris, and we get along like old pals." Just like that, I allowed myself to get swept up in my mind instead of staying grounded in my heart about what was actually happening. 

Yogananda (who brought yoga and meditation to the West) writes in Autobiography of a Yogi: "Attachment is blinding; it lends an imaginary halo of attractiveness to the object of desire."

I got blinded. 

There were several conversations we had where I started to get that similar “tug-tug-something is off” feeling in my heart, but chose to ignore it because I was letting my mind run the show.  Chris advised that he was not self-reflective at all.  He was super awkward about yoga, which is a huge passion of mine.   He repeatedly said he was intimidated by me and my life.  At any point along the way I could have chosen to see the situation clearly, but was blinded by my attachment to the story.  With that in mind, Chris also gave me a lot of validation to suggest that my story was correct and that we would be together at the end of the journey (or jour-naayyyy as I exclusively called it), so it further evidenced to my mind that this all made sense and was right.  

Because I was so wrapped up in the story, I forgot to connect to my heart and discern whether this was actually what I wanted, whether this person was a good match for me, or whether this person was even on the same wavelength as me.  I forgot to evaluate whether I should stick around with someone who repeatedly suggested that my enthusiasm for life, which is my favourite quality about myself, was too much.  When we get attached to the vision we have created, it truly does create this light that blinds us from turning inward and connecting with our heart to evaluate whether something actually feels good and should stay in our life.

When we get blinded by a story and project it onto whatever is in front of us – be it a partner, the job we always wanted, the place we thought we wanted to live, or the life that we thought we always wanted – and get caught in believing our mind, which will confirm to us that it whatever it is “makes sense” instead of tuning in with our heart to determine whether it actually feels good, eventually the Universe will typically give us a SMACKDOWN.   Our lives are not supposed to be a series of things that unfold linearly and make sense to the mind.  Rather, our lives are meant to be marked by the flowing of things that make our heart feel happy, secure, and joyful. The heart will help you design a life that feels magical and fulfilling.  The mind will create a life that makes logical sense, but often leaves you feeling disenchanted and searching for more. I knew this, but I allowed myself to forget it.

After all, this was not my first rodeo with this issue (see “My Story”).  Here’s the thing with lessons: you keep learning them until you get the point.  The universe will repeatedly humble you the second you get a spiritual ego of “having it all figured out”. 

In this situation with Chris, I got a smackdown alright.  The look on my face was pure shock.  I have truly never been so shocked in my life, but it goes to show just how blinded I was.  In that moment, the illusion lifted and I had to face the fact that I had allowed myself to be blinded.  As I exited, I felt bewildered but also mad.  I was infuriated.  Instead of taking full responsibility, I was first mad at him for making a decision I was not expecting.   Relationships are only mirrors, however, and I soon realized that I was actually frustrated with myself for not having not seen it sooner.   I really didn’t know this person that well, it had felt off, and I had been swept up in the story because he met the description of what I was manifesting. 

When I got home, it was immediately clear just how blinded I had been.  It was easy to see the truth that while this person may have been a soulmate as we went through this wild experience together, he was truly not supposed to be my life partner.  Friends are amazing mirrors to hold space for what you already know to be true.  What I grappled with for a long time, however, was not getting over this person (that was easy), but rather, debating with myself how I could have been so blinded to the truth. 

It became an opportunity for me to witness again how strong my ego mind can be, and how clearly the voice of the ego or the mind will take over the voice of all-knowing, loving, intuitive heart. 

How did this happen? One of the biggest ways that I learned to silence the mind and drop into the heart is through regular meditation, yoga, and journaling, which were all practices I found difficult to do while filming given the schedule and the fact that we are around each other all the time.  I came back from this experience to remember that these things are truly non-negotiable for me. If I fail to practice them, my mind will take over strongly, and I will believe whatever crazy story or idea it tells me is true. 

I also learned that the Universe has your back so hard that when you’ve gone astray and you’ve listened to the ego mind’s voice for too long, it’ll give you a spiritual smackdown to land you on your ass to force you to get quiet and drop back into the heart.  Talk about tough love.

I realized that I truly am a powerful creator.  We all are.  The fact that I ended up on the Bachelor with a guy who actually met the description of what I wanted to manifest and was named Chris is insane, but it goes to show how we can manifest anything we want into our life, often in the most unexpected of ways.  The key, however, is to make sure that you are creating your vision based on what your heart wants as opposed to what your mind thinks "makes sense".  Our mind can only create based upon things that it has seen or experienced before, but the heart can tune into what would feel good, what is for our highest growth, or what we actually want, deep down.   

Here's where I’m at now: give up the story and surrender.  Interestingly, I set the intention at the beginning of the year to learn how to give up control and truly, truly surrender.  

When we surrender the story and instead focus on how we want to feel when that thing we want to manifest arrives, we become a vibrational match for that or something better.  At this point, I realize that there is so much more magic that can unfold where I let go of the details of what I want to show up in my life and instead trust that the Universe will give me something far beyond what my mind can picture if I just stop trying to control what it looks like.  Surrendering the story keeps me free to continue release other the things in my life that I am holding onto because my mind has created a story around them and tells me that I "should" want when my heart says they no longer resonate any longer.  In other words, I have to continually remind myself that my mind doesn't know shit, and that as long as I am following my heart and doing the things that may me feel good, I'm always on path and the right things will show up for me at the right time

 I always trust that life is unfolding for my highest good.  The Universe always has my back.  I trust that the opportunities that align with the things I love to do, like share my stories publicly, write, and  support people to get out of their heads and back into their hearts, will always flow to me in truly magical ways if I’m paying attention to the signs and making sure that I embody happiness and love. 

If you want to learn how to begin the practice of connecting with your intuitive heart and your soul, and how to start unravel the fears and the crazy ideas of your mind, start working through my free soul map.  Remember, it's a journey.  The learning never stops.  The surprises never cease. But one thing I know, for sure, is that it is always a wonderful, fascinating, magical ride.  

Love always,


P.S. I completely trust  that I will be sent the most amazing partner far beyond what my mind could envision now that I’ve learned to let go of the image of what the person looks like or what their GD name is.  Let the magic continue...

Feeling, Feelings - Being Human AF

Last week I was shown on national television bawling my eyes out.  Wailing. Ugly crying. Several GIFs were made of me with tears streaming down my eyes.  There were mean tweets about me along the lines of "can Catie just stop with the crying already? Ugh she is annoying me."  Articles were written in national magazines about whether it was appropriate for me to have been crying as much as I was.  While part of me wanted to defend what was happening and share more of the background about why I was crying, such as the things that I had been told or how extreme the isolation is in filming or how unable to access the tools like yoga or journaling that I usually use to temper my emotions, I decided not to.  Instead, I decided to fully embrace the beauty of what I was seeing. The raw humanness that I was witnessing.

I decided to remember to tell myself, and to tell everyone else, that to feeling feelings is okay.  That you can be powerful and also vulnerable. That you can be strong but also soft. And that in fact, to feel feelings is one of the biggest gifts that we get to experience as souls on this wild journey. 

When we put a stop button on certain feelings, we press a stop button on our ability to fully experience all life has to offer.  Without pain and sadness, we wouldn't appreciate big joy or the waves of bliss that follow after.  Without allowing ourselves to dive into the sweetness of life when things are going well, we would lose hope when things get difficult or bleak.

We are told that some feelings are okay and some feelings aren't.  But it's all okay. It's all beautiful. It's all divine. Life is messy. It's imperfect. It's also impermanent. That's where the beauty lies.  Our ability to experience each feeling as it arises and feel it fully is what is the juice of life.  That's where the magic is. 

I spent several years not crying.  I mean that. Not even once.  I hated the way that crying felt.  I hated what I looked like when I cried. I hated the feeling that would swell in my chest.  As a child, whenever I felt like crying I would run and hide underneath my bed so that no one would see me or know.  Luckily, my Dad figured out my tactic and would quietly sit on my bed until I was ready to come out and talk about what I was feeling. I hated uncomfortable feelings, so I just avoided them.  The issue is that when you avoid what's uncomfortable, you slowly start to turn down the light on your life.  You mute it.  The colours slowly start to fade and the magic dwindles. 

A few years ago I decided that I wanted to access greater levels of joy, bliss and enthusiasm in my life, but in order to do so, I knew that I had to learn how to sit with and feel into uncomfortable feelings too.  It's a pendulum. The more uncomfortable you allow yourself to be and feel into, the greater the joy you get to feel on the other side. 

Seeing myself cry so openly and so vulnerably on national television was a massive gift.  Because I worked hard to be her.  The one who feels.  The one who is okay to embrace whatever is arising, knowing that it'll pass.  The one who learned that there's no shame in feeling uncomfortable feelings and being honest about it.  The one who knows that only by feeling into what's uncomfortable is what allows it to be released. The one who knows that each feeling is a gift, designed to take you deeper into your heart, deeper into your knowing, and deeper into your soul. The one who knows that being vulnerable can be difficult as hell, but there's no greater gift than to allow yourself to experience your humanness. 

My wish for you is this: don't be scared to feel uncomfortable feelings. It's okay.  Putting a stop button on your feelings will only quash the magic that is available for you in your life.  And I want you to have magic. You deserve all the magic. 

Be Easy. It'll Pass.

Be easy. take your time. you are coming home to yourself. - @nayyirah.waheed

Impermanence has been one of the biggest lessons for me this year. The idea that all things - good and bad - are transient. Here one moment, gone the next. The work becomes not getting too attached to what IS - whether we see it as good or bad, and rather to be fully present in each moment as it arises, in a state of equilibrium.

Everything passes.

As I've been reflecting on this concept all week as I take stock of the year, I found myself having to practice it again. I had one of my best days of the year yesterday, and then woke up this morning feeling totally blocked and sad for a reason I couldn't put my finger on at first.

Yesterday I was fully present with all the joys and the bliss I felt. I was fully present with the beautiful company that surrounded me all day, I drank in each word I read, I savoured every morsel of delicious food, I laughed big and loud at things that delighted me. Today I was fully present with the shadow in my psyche that was revealing itself. I stayed fully present with my sadness. I felt into the constriction in my chest.

In either instance, the key is to allow yourself to feel each feeling and soak up each flavour of each moment - knowing that the winds will pull you in a new direction again. All you have to do is soak it in while it's happening in the moment.

All feelings - joy, bliss, sorrow, shame - have a place. Be with them. Get curious about them. They might stay a while, or they might not. Either way, they won't last forever. Be present with what IS and unlock an entire new level of dimension to your human experience. 

You Do YOU - Finding the Balance between Yin and Yang

Ask yourself: WHAT do you DESIRE?

Then…You Do You! Do that.

The pendulum swings both ways - the key is finding the delicate balance of doing and non-doing... of action and stillness. Of work and play. If not, I'm sure you've had the experience of what it feels like to be pushed, flung, catapulted, or thrown back the other way - whether you've been a little TOO relaxed and end up making a mistake through inattention, or you're TOO on it and all of the sudden you can't stay awake.

The doing energy, the exerting, forcing, producing, protecting, having tangible results for our efforts is all associated with the YANG energy. Our society LOVES this side of things - do more! work more! have more things on the go! run faster!

However because of this we forget the equally as important side of the energy - the YIN energy. This energy is all about just BEING, doing for the sake of PLEASURE, following our desires, receiving, and inputting energy into our beings.

If you’re constantly in DOING mode, you’re going to feel out of balance. I really struggled with this, until I learned to consciously ask myself regularly, “what do I DESIRE?” and then giving myself permission to do that. It gets me into playing with the yin energy, which helps the pendulum swing the other way to keep the type A, intense side of me in check.

We forget that we don’t always have to be doing - that we don’t always have to be making things happen for ourselves. That we don’t have to be crushing it all the time for results. Rather, we can follow our desires to ensure we live in a state of joy, which takes us into a flow state where things are magnetized to us instead in the most magical and synchronistic ways.

If It Doesn't Flow, It's Not For You

If things don't flow well, they're not meant for you right now. That person, that job, that opportunity, that energy to go out and chase your dreams. Whatever it is - it's okay. Be where you are. Relax into that.

Wherever you're at is perfect. Allow what IS. Don't resist it.

I just sat down for lunch after my intuition told me to sit down in a certain place, in a certain spot. I sit down and a person that was tied to an opportunity that I let go of back in the fall because it wasn't flowing easily was right in front of me. I believe that things in life, when we are on our path living our purpose, should feel like breathing. Effortless. Natural. Life affirming. Maybe it means now it's time for me to revisit it, or maybe it means it was a reminder to me to always remember with life and our dreams: "this or something better. This or something better." Another opportunity, better, is on its way and the reason to I let go of that one was to create space for something new... an updated version of what WAS but with better timing, or a new one that's more epic.

Let go and flow baby.

I'm Over Hustling, Let Me Flow

I'm over the hustle. Instead, the reframe is to do MORE in LESS time by being calm, focused and inspired as we work.

How do you get to a space of complete calm and focus? My biggest tip is - take care of yourself. When you sleep enough, take time to chill, move and strengthen your body, and eat foods that light you up instead of making you exhausted, your "vehicle" is locked, loaded and ready to go.

This means making sure there is a lot of PLEASURE in your life. What lights you up? What makes you feel juicy? What gives you joy? Do that. THAT fills up your tank.

From that place, calm, focus and inspiration flow. Make taking care of yourself and pleasure your number one priorities, and all the enthusiasm, drive and focus you need to accomplish ANYTHING follows.

Shine on love warriors. 

How Big Are Your Goals

About a year and half or two years ago I got a clear download in the middle of the night - start sharing with Instagram. Start sharing your voice and your spiritual journey and perspective on Instagram. Find your community there. Learn to develop your voice there.

That same night, at 4am when I was awakened by this message, I wrote out some goals in the journal that was lying on my bedside table. I held up my iPhone light to illuminate the pages because it was too dark and too late for me to muster up the courage to turn on my bedroom light. Goals that were aligned with the vision that was beckoning me and awakening me from my sleep.

One of them I wrote out was "10,000 Instagram followers so I can share my stories and help inspire others to live more loving and authentic lives." At the time, it seems preposterous. I literally smirked to myself as I wrote out the goal.

But what I know for sure is that if your goals or your vision don't seem insane enough - make you laugh at how the universe is ever going to co-create it with you to actually make it happen - then they aren't big enough yet. Keep thinking.  

I passed that 10k threshold and here I am, in deep gratitude for all of those who let me into your space to share pieces of my heart to inspire you to listen to the whispers of yours. Today, and always, I love you

Making Your Friendships More Romantic and Your Romances More Friendly

“Make your brotherly relationships more romantic and your romantic relationships more brotherly.” – A Course in Miracles

I remember reading this quote for the first time. At the time I was putting so much focus on dating and my pattern of being boy crazy was presenting itself. My journals were crammed with tireless analysis of boys: texts from boys, whether or not I liked him, whether he paid enough attention to me, etc. The amount of mental energy used up doing this now baffles me.

A MASSIVE shift came when I decided to stop putting so much energy into boys and more attention into my relationship to myself and to my girlfriends.

While I began enjoying my deepened connection with myself and my girlfriends, I missed the excitement and romance of dating - then this quote shifted me again.

Make your friendships more romantic and dating/your relationship more friendly.

I started to DATE my friends and send THEM loving texts. We would plan dinner dates, wine dates and vacations together. I felt fulfilled and deeply connected, more so than ever, with the friends in my life. I built out a sisterhood of women around me. I also started to practice more self care to cultivate romance - more self massage, and dancing with myself and eating delicious treats. I felt fulfilled by this romance I provided myself. As a result, whenever I was dating, it made it way easier for me to take the pressure off and simply enjoy getting to know a new friend. Both my friendships and relationships became deeply fulfilling experiences. It unlocked a new richness to how I related to ALL connections in my life.

This weekend, I encourage you to think: can I make my friendships more romantic? Reach out to a friend to plan a proper date and watch the magic that unfolds when you make this shift. On the other side, can you see dating or your partner as a friend first and foremost and acknowledge and have gratitude for what common interests you have?

What You Seek is Seeking You

Just a friendly reminder - what you seek is seeking you

If you close your eyes and feel into your heart and find you are longing for something - a new sister on the path, a partner, to reach out to a friend you haven't talked to in years, a person to help, whatever it is - trust that the thought has been given to you for a reason. Your longing is moving you in the direction to find what you are seeking.. only to find when you get there that what you were seeking was seeking you all along too.

So whatever it is today - trust it. Trust that whatever you long for right now is also longing for you... and through the untangling of an invisible thread, you'll find your way there. Back home.

Infinite love and heart explosions.

Being Precise On Your Goals

New moon vibes in Sagittarius mean using LASER LIKE precision to craft some new goals and a massive vision for my new creative project (psst: I had a big download of inspiration in Costa Rica).

Sagittarius is that image of the Bow and Arrow... precision toward the bullseye.

What a perfect time to start visioning and designing your future than NOW instead of come January 1st?

I am a goal setting junkie. I make monthly, quarterly, yearly, five year and ten year goals. I understand that life is in a flow and we are to surrender to that flow - but we also have to co-create with the universe. We can't stay locked up on the couch waiting for our dreams to find us, or for opportunities to arise, or for our bodies to feel amazing and strong.

The magic comes from trusting and following our intuition and inner compass to let ourselves flow, but I like to think of goals and clear visions as kind of like the BOAT that can keep us ON COURSE while we flow through the waters of what is our destiny.

It's my belief that we have certain agreements - things that will manifest no matter what - that we have signed up for in this life. Beyond that, we can create anything we want, as long as we are intentional about it.

What are some of your goals you are working toward? If you don't have any - grab a pen! It's the perfect time. Do it now. Do it now. Do it now

Sisterhood Diaries: Finding the Crones

"You are a unique expression of source energy and it is your birth right to be who you came here to be."

The universe is always conspiring to support us - I was faced with a situation that triggers me and was craving some CRONE energy in my life - what's that?

A crone is the feminine archetype - she is the wise, sage woman. She has aged but she is ageless. She has weathered storms, stood in her power, and nurtured for years. She holds the wisdom that can only come from seeing it all and experiencing it all.

I didn't do anything other than trust my intuition that these older 50+ women would come into my life. I attended a medicine song circle tonight and walked in and sure enough - BOOM - a whole bunch of beautiful crones!

Such magic unfolds from connecting with those who have walked the path ahead of us - and on the contrary - for them to be reinvigorated by the power that comes from fresh eyes and fresh experiences. Could you use a little wisdom bomb from an elder right now? Set the intention and see what comes.

Step into your power, the fullness of all that you are, and trust that with each step the exact connections you need will show up for you.

Finding Your Soulmates

"when you meet that person. a person. one of your soulmates. let the connection. relationship be what it is. it may be five mins. five hours. five days. five months. five years. a lifetime. let it manifest itself, the way it is meant to. it has an organic destiny. this way if it stays or if it leaves, you will be softer from having been loved this authentically. souls come into, return, open, and sweep through your life for a myriad of reasons, let them be who and what they are meant." - Nayyirah Waheed

The ocean is my soulmate. The jungle is my soulmate. The women, babies and men that I spent this week with are my soulmates. More soulmates are still to come - and some soulmates I've yet to return to.

Let relationships flow in and out of your life freely - like the waves of the ocean coming in - coming out. Gently. No forcing.

Your soulmates will always find you, and You will always find them - and it'll be like you never left. Coming home.

Feeling deep gratitude for mama earth for holding me this week and for the MAGIC that unfolds when you surround yourself with your soulmates.

Find your people, love them hard.