“Make your brotherly relationships more romantic and your romantic relationships more brotherly.” – A Course in Miracles
I remember reading this quote for the first time. At the time I was putting so much focus on dating and my pattern of being boy crazy was presenting itself. My journals were crammed with tireless analysis of boys: texts from boys, whether or not I liked him, whether he paid enough attention to me, etc. The amount of mental energy used up doing this now baffles me.
A MASSIVE shift came when I decided to stop putting so much energy into boys and more attention into my relationship to myself and to my girlfriends.
While I began enjoying my deepened connection with myself and my girlfriends, I missed the excitement and romance of dating - then this quote shifted me again.
Make your friendships more romantic and dating/your relationship more friendly.
I started to DATE my friends and send THEM loving texts. We would plan dinner dates, wine dates and vacations together. I felt fulfilled and deeply connected, more so than ever, with the friends in my life. I built out a sisterhood of women around me. I also started to practice more self care to cultivate romance - more self massage, and dancing with myself and eating delicious treats. I felt fulfilled by this romance I provided myself. As a result, whenever I was dating, it made it way easier for me to take the pressure off and simply enjoy getting to know a new friend. Both my friendships and relationships became deeply fulfilling experiences. It unlocked a new richness to how I related to ALL connections in my life.
This weekend, I encourage you to think: can I make my friendships more romantic? Reach out to a friend to plan a proper date and watch the magic that unfolds when you make this shift. On the other side, can you see dating or your partner as a friend first and foremost and acknowledge and have gratitude for what common interests you have?