I am leaving my law practice! It’s been such a long time coming and I’m so excited to now share with you more of my journey!
Over the next week I’ll be releasing some videos to help you gain clarity about how to connect with your inner voice/soul, figure out where it’s leading you, and how to get on your path to get there.
I’ve often shared that back in 2013, I had a spiritual smackdown that led to a number of massive shifts in my life that you can read more about here or see here.
Soon after that happened, I got a vision in meditation. I was speaking, teaching groups about how to connect with their soul and the universe, running retreats and helping others one on one on their journeys.
It was clear to me from the beginning that while I loved being a lawyer, my soul was leading me in a new direction and I was going to have to surrender to it.
I had a pretty deep internal struggle with this – it was a classic mind over heart situation, that actually took a long time for me to process and work through.
The primary issue with the vision was that I had no idea how I was going to get there and I was the type of person that loved clearly defined steps.
In law, you just go to school, get the grades, pass the bar exam and get a job. This was going to be different. It seemed so far off and there was no clear blueprint how to get there.
I was so keen to make it happen, and remember asking the universe how I was going to do so and the answer was: “you need to do the work.”
"Ummm - Noted.”
I see now that I could never teach unless I was deeply rooted in my own practices, and had enough to teach based on having actually experienced it.
I spent that first year diving deep into myself, meditating, unravelling my mind to come back into my heart, and reading every book on spirituality and all things soul - this has only continued.
Not knowing a clear road of how to get to where I wanted to go, I decided that I would just listen to my intuition and take the next right step as it was time.
Starting in 2014, this is what I did. I began by teaching and sharing about the benefits of meditation. This led to people opening up to me about their journeys, which led to a coaching practice. Later I created the Circle community, started speaking publicly about my journey, and leading retreats.
Each step and offering built off the other, and each new opportunity only came when I was ready to handle and hold space for it (although its easier to see that now looking back - I had to learn to let go of timelines).
I always said I would leave my law practice when I felt complete in it, and when my business was busy enough that I could no longer sustain doing both. This happened, and now here we are.
So many of you are on your own journeys, and I am so excited to have more time to help support you in the best way I can, whether its working together one on one, coming on a retreat or to Circle, or using the tools and self-reflection questions I'll continue to post now that I have more time and space.
Stay tuned for a video later this week on getting clear on your vision, followed by a video on how to balance surrender with inspired action to make it happen.
Remember, anything you want for yourself in your life is possible.
Sunday self-reflection questions before.
Lots of love,
P.S. Journey to the Heart Retreat has sold out!!! We may have one spot, so if you are still on the fence but considering it let me know as we're trying to see if we can reserve another villa.
P.P.S. This means that my next retreat with availability is Costa Rica February 18 - 23, 2019 with Samara of @mindfulnessmatters. More details to come :)
Ever see the repeating numbers 111, 222, 333, 444, or just any combination of repeating numbers?
I know you have been because I've been getting a massive influx of messages on this subject and so wanted to address it.
Quite simply, repeating numbers are signs from the universe/your spirit guides/angels that you are exactly where you are meant to be, and are trying to get you to pay attention and strengthen your connection with it/them.
Be mindful of what you're thinking of when you see the numbers. If you're in a negative mind state, the numbers would be a sign for you to shift your thoughts back to love. If your thoughts are good and you're dreaming about something new that would be awesome, the repeating numbers are a sign from the universe that its a YES.
Each number has a different vibration. Doreen Virtue popularized the idea that different repeating numbers mean different things. You can read more from her here. However, my view is that they are just signs from the universe and your spirit guides to pay attention, trust the process, and to know that you are loving, guided and protected.
There's a line from a Course in Miracles that I love, which is "the presence of fear is a sure sign you are trusting in your own strength."
We are not alone in this journey. You are so supported, so loved, and so divinely guided. The more that you open up to the support and signs from the universe, the more that you'll be awake to the winks it continues to throw your way.
Next time you see these repeating numbers repeat: "everything is working out in perfect timing. I am completely taken care of." From there, reflect on what's happening - where are your thoughts? where are you? who's around? This will give you insight as to why the universe wanted to reach out to you at this point in time.
If it's a seemingly innocuous time, like when you're driving or you see 111 on the streetcar, don't dismiss it! The magic IS in the tiny moments - those little moments day to day where we have the ability to shift our thoughts back to love and restore our perception to one of peace, openness and curiosity.
If you have any further questions about this let me know!
Summer has come in HOT. Seriously. And Summer also comes with an onslaught of experiences, commitments, and distractions.
In flowing with the waves of these experiences, commitments and distractions, we can sometimes get lost in what we really want, or to stick with our self-care practices amongst the storm of activity.
As a further shake up, we also have a powerful Mars retrograde right now coupled with two eclipses this month that are creating really potent healing energy for us right now. Delays, frustrations, and run-ins with the past and past versions of you are common right now.
It's the type of energy where the universe is really testing us - "girl, I know you 'did the work', but did you do it sufficiently enough so that you're actually ready to leave your job? Are you actually ready to see your ex and not be triggered by it? Are you actually ready to go to a wedding and be present and take care of yourself?"
Here are three powerful questions to ask yourself each morning to ensure that you stay on track, aligned with your soul, and keep living from that gorgeous heart of yours:
- How do I want to feel today?
- What do I need most right now?
- What can I do today to feel the way I want to feel?
Using these three questions is a daily practice of mine, but ensuring I stick to checking in in this way is particularly necessary as my energy ebbs and flows with the flurry of activity this summer and the big changes about to unfold in my life. Try it!
Summer brings about this flurry of activity, and with the endless scrolling of other people’s feeds, or interacting in endless conversations at weddings or gatherings about what other people are up, you might be feeling a little bit of FOMO and comparison paralysis.
”My life is boring.”
“Why am I not there?”
“If I had gone, my life would seem less boring.”
“Gahhh – my life really is boring.”
“Why did they get to do that?”
“That looks way cooler than what I’m doing right now...”
Fear of missing out on… what, exactly? Fear of missing out tends to centre around the belief that we are not tapped in enough, doing enough, or are enough - period. It also is the fantasy that "if only X... then I would be cooler..."
I’m here to remind you that you are enough and you don’t have to DO anything to be the radiant, beautiful goddess that you are. Trust in your choices, and trust that you are always where you are meant to be.
We fear that if we were only there, we would be complete, or cooler, or our life would otherwise be better. This fear also stems from thinking that by honouring what’s best for us, we are somehow depriving ourselves from something that would be more awesome.
But FOMO is just another trick of the ego/your inner mean girl and so remember that it’s just a commentary on what IS, and isn’t real. It's your job to acknowledge your inner mean girl but then tell her to buzz off.
A quick fix for this is to get super present and to acknowledge all that is beautiful and great in that moment (gratitude FTW). Then, own the season you're in and why you are where you're at right now.
There is a season for you to be out a lot and socializing, and there’s also a season for you to be more contemplative, reflective, and rooting down with your family.
There’s a season to be travelling, and there’s a season to enjoying backyard BBQs at your home.
There’s a season to be enjoying your life with your friends, and there’s also a season for you to be cultivating new friendships while taking some space from friends you used to connect with.
There’s a season to be out doing all of the things, and there’s a season to be resting, chilling and taking it easy.
Whatever season you’re in right now – own it.
It's summer solstice!!! I love this day. This is officially the longest day of the year - we are infused with more sunlight than we will be all year. Soak in the sweetness!
Nature is the wisest of the wise and we can take so many cues from her. (and newsflash, if you forgot you are part of nature... ummm...totally normal, but just a reminder - you are inextricably linked to everything in the universe, including the animals, trees, flowers, sun and the moon).
So let's think about it: the summer solstice is a day of pure LIGHT, so what do you think nature is trying to tell us? To celebrate! To shine brightly! To honour! To play! To love HARD.
This time also signifies our official transition into summer. We are emerging out of spring, which was a period of birthing new ideas, beginning anew, and planting seeds of our dreams and desires. We were stepping forward from the icy layers and gentle cocoon of winter's dark and shadowy months.
Summertime is a time for manifestation. Its the time for seeing the ripening of our ideas, witnessing them coming to fruition, and for enjoying the beauty that comes with appreciating the contrast between this time of light with the deep letting go, introspection, and shadow work that often comes in winter.
If there is one tip for you right now it is to just ENJOY your life. Enjoy watching some of your dreams come true. Enjoy the beauty around you. Enjoy seeing the richness and abundance in your life. Let yourself laugh more. Take off the mask and be a little more you. Celebrate your successes thus far this year. Honour your growth. Bask in your beauty by doubling down on self-care and the things that make you feel gorgeous and loved.
Your ritual / self-reflection and intention setting questions are below.
Love you, you beautiful shining star!!
Your Summer Solstice Ritual + Self Reflection Questions
1. Get yourself out into nature to enjoy all of the LIGHT that nature is coming in with right now.
2. Buy or make yourself something that feels pleasurable and signifies "celebration" to you - ie: chocolate, prosecco, vegan ice cream, whateves.
3. Acknowledge and write out all that you are most proud of yourself for doing so far this year. What happened in the winter that you're now on the other side of and have released? Write about the courage you had in spring to start to step into your light a little more or take steps in the directions of your dreams. Honour all that you are and where you're at on your journey right now.
4. Now indulge in your favourite treat and soak in the sweetness of your life!!! Celebrate YOU for being YOU.
5. Next, gather petals from flowers and put them in a big bowl of warm water. You can also add some essential oils.
6. Think about your intention for the summer - how do you want to FEEL?
7. Dip your hands into the warm water for a few minutes, closing your eyes, and saying "I honour my cycles of growth. I release what is ready to be released. I am open to receive the abundance of my life. I celebrate myself. I love myself."
8. Now bring your hands on your heart or in prayer position and set your intention for the summer - again, how do you want to FEEL?
8. Bring the water and dump it into the ground/soil and set your intention again, finishing it by saying "and so it is."
9. Remind yourself you're a GD radiant warrior goddess queen.
10. Want to get in touch with me??? Cool. You can do that here.
Let life crack you open. Let yourself stay open even when you want to close. To shy away from vulnerability. To retract.
Life is full of opportunities to close. Someone says something we don't like and we want to ice them out. Something doesn't go to plan and we choose to scrap the whole project. We open ourselves to another and they reject us. Someone takes advantage of us and we feel defeated.
The challenge is to keep your heart open even when you want to close it. To push through that moment where you want to shut down, and instead to breathe into it, feel into it, and stay open anyway.
As you evolve and center more into the heart, it can truly feeling your heart is cracking open. Let it crack open.
I promise you that on the other side of each cracking is an even greater experience of love, bliss, and abundance than you have touched before.
However, in the moment it can feel uncomfortable to stay open and in your heart through loss, rejection, change, and hurt, or to allow yourself to feel fully into how amazing life can be due to the fear that things will change... but stay open anyway.
Many of you are going either going through big challenges, or enjoying big peaks of joy right now after having been put through the wringer earlier this year. Wherever you're at, be in it completely. Be alive and awake to whatever your experience is right now.
For those of you in a wave of good, allow yourself to feel into just how incredible life can feel on the other side of your growth. This is not a trick - you've earned it.
For those of you in the smoke, see your challenge as a gift. While it might not seem like it, this is the exact thing that you need to open you even more, and to transform you into the person you are becoming.
When you are feeling tender or sensitive, be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would a little child. Mother yourself. Tell yourself everything is okay. Wrap yourself in cozy blankets and make yourself tea like you would for any other little being.
You are held by the universe. You are safe. You are on the precipice of magnificent change and growth.
You will soon look back on this time and the radical transformation you will make - and you will be absolutely blown away by all of your growth. You are right where you are meant to be.
As always, I'm here to support you. Often the women I work with are going through similar uncomfortable periods in life transitions, or are on the other side of massive growth and are now ready to integrate that experience and share their light with the world in a bigger and more powerful way. You can book a Discovery call to chat about it here: https://catieappointments.as.me/
In second year University I put my hand up in a lecture room full of 200 other Political Science majors after the professor asked for examples of things that don't have a lot of proof but that you still believe in. "Astrology." I said, dead-panned. He looked at me, perplexed. "Astronomy?" "No. Astrology."... Crickets. Eye rolls. My heart sunk. I felt so sheepish. I abandoned my love of astrology for a long time after that until I rediscovered it a few years ago.
While I know astrology can be a bit out there for some people, I'm all about providing you with the tools and insights that have helped me to become so jazzed about life and a manifesting queen.
Why you should pay attention is because astrology has been an incredible tool for simply learning how to know yourself better, and, similar to the moon cycles, allows you to better understand the cycles and rhythms of your life.
This isn't about horoscopes and predicting the future. Rather, it's about evaluating where you're at, where you're going, and the natural tools, gifts, or skills unique to you that might help you get there.
Remember, the same as flowers, you are not all the same, you are not meant to bloom all year, and you are not meant to stay the same.
As this new cycle begins (technically it began May 15, 2018), you can take some time to reflect on this new you that you have become. What does this new you want/desire/need? Dream a new dream for this YOU you have become.
Use the guiding questions below for you to reflect on where you want to be going in this new cycle.
PS - for another comprehensive review and perspective on this shift head over to www.chaninicholas.com
What are you changing or feeling called to change in terms of how you support yourself financially?
What aspect of your financial situation do you feel you need to be more organized, structured, or innovative with?
What new story about what it means to be financially secure, independent, and abundant are you ready to create?
What old story about your self worth, self esteem, wealth, work, or your financial situation are you ready to release? Where did this story come from?
What do you really feel about people who make a lot of money? Are you ready to create a new story around it?
What does abundance mean to you?
What might you need to become more unapologetic about in terms of your value, your worthy, your work or your financial life?
How are you starting to see yourself and your life differently?
How are you experiencing your identity differently?
What old version or aspects of yourself are you ready to release or have outgrown?
What would it mean to be unapologetically yourself?
In what way are you ready to step into yourself more fully, take up more space or become more yourself?
In what ways do you still play small?
What aspect of yourself or an interest of yours do you hide from others that you're ready to be more open about?
If your social connections have changed in the past year, what have these shifts shown you about yourself?
What aspect of yourself have you outgrown?
What area of your life or friendships do you need to break up with?
What are you secrets? Actually get honest and write out your secrets.
What aspect of yourself, or what is normally hidden, is ready to come forward to be seen?
Where do you still put up a facade or a mask that "everything is good" when it's not?
What are you feeling called to learn more about yourself or others right now?
What aspects of spirituality or your soul are you feeling nudged to explore?
What type of community or social connections would be ideal for you?
How has your inner circle or community changed most recently? What does this tell you about yourself?
What are your lifelong or longstanding social issues that you feel ready to tackle?
What types of people do you need around you for you to feel most at ease, empowered and energized?
Who would be the most ideal person to work alongside?
How can you make an impact in your community in the coming years?
How can you collaborate with your community to make an impact in the coming years?
Which people are truly inspiring you right now?
What shifts are you feeling in your professional life?
Are you ready for a career change?
What about your current job do you feel over?
What would be your most ideal job situation?
What are you feeling called to start getting loud, or stepping into the spotlight more about?
What are you most wanting to create in your professional life right now?
If you were really honest, what is your fear about your current professional situation?
What makes you anxious when it comes to your current job?
What would it look like for you to transition to a new career?
Would any aspect of yourself need to evolve in order for you to change careers or have the confidence to do so?
What ideas that you once held about yourself or your life are you breaking away from?
How is your relationship to spirituality changing?
What truth are you seeking?
Where are you feeling called to travel in the next few years?
What are you feeling called to deepen your study in over the next few years?
Is there a journey that your heart is calling you to go on?
Are you feeling called to begin to share parts of your story in a more public way?
What would having strategic collaborations and partnerships open up for you in your life?
Who are you feeling called to collaborate with?
Do you have any fears around collaborating with others?
Do you believe that there is more than enough to go around, and that someone else's success does not take away from your own?
How are you being moved to partner in new ways in business or your finances?
What past hurt are you ready to understand, release, and let go of?
Is there someone or something that you are ready to forgive that you previously haven't?
What part of your life (wellness, sexuality, family, career) are you ready to do a deeper dive into?
What new energy is awakening in your partnerships or in regards to what you are looking for in a partnership?
How has what you need in a partner changed from before until now?
In order for you to shine as brightly as you can, what type of partner would you need?
What are the core feelings you are most desiring from your partner or future partner?
How would your career or life change if your partner was able to elevate, inspire and empower you?
Who is helping you to break through old fears around intimacy, exchanges, and being vulnerable with others?
What fears do you have around showing someone your heart and who you really are?
Who in your life is going through a disruptive time or creating turbulence in the relationship? How can you help yourself stay grounded and connected to you no matter what anyone else is going through?
Who are your most difficult relationships? How can you start to bring more compassion to these relationships?
How have you been exploring your creativity in the last few years?
How can you bring your creative gifts more into your work life?
How can you bring these innovative gifts into your work life?
How connected to your body do you feel?
Is there any health issue that has arisen or is arising?
How healthy do you feel?
How fit and strong do you feel?
Is there any aspect of your body that needs further healing?
How can you be more rebellious or take more chances in your current work life?
What new things are you innovating in your work life?
How can you start to incorporate technology more into your work life?
How can you start to incorporate technology into your wellness routine?
What wants to be birthed from you right now?
If you could create anything right now, what would it be? This includes a new vision for your future!
How tapped into your sensual energy are you?
If you were to connect more to children and your family in the upcoming years, what would that look like?
How are you feeling called to express yourself creatively?
How can you use your creative energy to share, in a disruptive way, aspects of yourself or your life?
What type of legacy do you want to leave?
What new awareness is entering your consciousness about your role, relationship, and function in your family? Which of these truths is the loudest at the moment?
What roles have you agreed to in your family that you're ready to release?
How will your family react when you let them know that you are going to take on a new role or relationship to them?
Who is your chosen family? How can you strengthen this bond?
What support do you need from your closest friends and family?
How supported are you feeling by where you live?
If you were to make a move, what would that place look like? Where would it be?
Where do you picture yourself living, in an ideal scenario, that would allow you to flourish most?
What type of partner and family member do you want to be?
How do you want your friends and family to describe you? How can you ensure you are embodying this?
Do you want an unconventional relationship or family design? If so, what does this look like?
How is the structure of your family changing?
How is your home ready to change?
What are you ready to communicate on a much louder, more free way?
What are you now taking a stand for?
What is your daily ritual or time for self-connection like? Could you increase its frequency or aspects of it?
Is there something about your daily plans or schedules that needs to change?
How are you adapting to the new changes to your schedules or plans?
How are you integrating the past few years of growth and freedom now that you are being called to stick to a schedule or root down more?
Are you changing where you live? What aspect of your community is starting to alarm you?
Are you having any friction with members of your community? If so, why? What is this teaching you?
Are you taking enough time to ground yourself and your connection to your soul right now?
How are your relationships with your siblings, close friends and family changing right now?
Are there new rituals you want to start to incorporate into your day to keep you happy and connected to your soul and in a s
Are you ready for a change to your closest sibling-like relationships?
If you want more soul-sisters or brothers, what are the traits they would have? What would you do together?
“You’ve changed” they’ll say.
Well, yeah, you have. I see you, dreamer. You’re changing and evolving and here’s the thing: you’re just not the person you once were.
I posted on instagram stories about how so many of us were running into exes, friends from the past or situations that were perfectly designed to show you just how much has changed and how different you are now. Running into people from the past shows us this contrast.
The theme right now is on completion - what are you done with? Can you honour how much have you changed?
Uranus enters Taurus tomorrow for the first time in seven years - this simply means that you’re seeing (in an often disruptive way) that a chapter is coming to a big close.
This energy doesn't always feel comfortable - but it shakes you to awaken you.
Newsflash: you’re not the same person you once were. sometimes we need to be faced with something from the past to show us how much things have shifted. This can be both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Look back to where you were in March 2011 for an indication of when this last Uranus cycle began.
What has been the primary focus for you in the last seven years? Work? Relationships? Creative expression? Travel and expansion? this chapter is coming to a close and Uranus will shift to a new area of your chart.
Viva la Revolution!!
Aries: This was all about how you take action in the world. You've learned to be assertive, take action, and forge a path for yourself.
Taurus: You've proven you can spring back eventually from any unforeseen disaster and forgive others. You've weathered some big storms and have proved you can still stand.
Gemini: This was a friendship and relationship transit. Friends may come and go, but you will always retain your faith in the goodness of human beings, even as your associations have changed.
Cancer: You were changing your work and relationships, and specifically, how you relate to others at work. Can you bring compassion to a place that needs it the most? It’s about how people think of you and how they look up to you after you have touched them and they you.
Leo: Yours was in the house of higher learning and travel. How your mind has grown and your behaviour developed! All of your relationships have risen to a higher level.
Virgo: You've been on a deep healing journey. Although you may have had to deal with what seems like insurmountable debt, setbacks and pain, be proud of how you have grounded into who you are and a more fulfilling expression of your soul.
Libra: This was a large transit around relationships and learning to balance between partnership and independence. You have been learning that granting freedom and independence to those you love is not abandonment at all. It shows a new way of bonding and understanding the needs of others.
Scorpio: This was a health and career transit for you. Taking care of your health, listening to your body and finding alternative measures was a large focus. You’ve also revolutionized what you want to do in the world.
Sagittarius: This was in your house of creative expression. How have you tapped into your creativity over the past 7 years? How have you explored expressing yourself in new and unique ways?
Capricorn: Your transit was disrupting your house and work structures - all of the structures that kept you in place, particularly your family dynamics. You also have had some turblent changes. No matter how you try to hold it together and disruptive it may seem, the growth of disruption and transformation is not only inevitable. It is healthy.
Aquarius: You were gifted with a humanitarian vision or new vision for your future, which may be quite outside the box. You have learned flexibility and have gained a new respect for honesty and communication.
Pisces: This was a lot about finances for you. Finances are linked to self-worth - how do you value yourself and your wealth? It may seem strange, but even if you were the richest person in the world or the thriftiest seven years ago, you have been challenged to tap into your resourcefulness. As a Pisces, financial security may not be your ultimate goal but it sure has been a trip to stay even close to being on top of the money thing.
This is a talk I did at Speaker Slam in Toronto in May, 2018.
The universe is always speaking to us, it’s just whether we are actually listening or not.
How does the universe speak to you? Are you listening?
There are a number of ways that the universe and your inner guide (the deep, knowing voice within you) will speak to you. Maybe it’s through seeing different visual signs with the exact message or image you needed to see, or a conversation with someone who provides the exact insight you need, or maybe it’s a nudge to reach out to a person, or that “tug tug” feeling to apply to write for a blog. Whatever it is, it’s when we are following these nudges and signs that life starts to feel magical.
The reason why life feels magical is because things are in complete flow. When we are in flow, things seem easy. It seems like everything is conspiring in our favour to make our dreams happen. In this state, the next step is clearly laid out for you, and you just need to say yes. You meet the exact person at the exact moment that you need to. The money that you need is provided right in the moment that you need it. As a result, things feel like they are unfolding in one magical flow, and you are simply paying attention and acting on the puzzle pieces until you learn where they are all leading. This is the beauty of the journey – all of the nudge nudges and hints and signs telling you where to go next in order to make your vision come true.
If you feel that you’ve gotten out of the flow, ask the universe to show itself to you.
Ask for signs. Ask for the answer that you need. Be specific about what you are seeking clarity and guidance on right now.
Many of you know that the sign that I look for, to know I’m on path, is a rubber ducky. It’s a completely random object, which is why I chose it. Sure enough, every time I am travelling for something work related, I see a rubber ducky. On my most recent trip to LA, I couldn’t keep up with all the rubber duckies I was seeing, which indicated to me that I had made the right move in choosing to go on that trip and join a business group that meets there.
You might ask the universe to show you that you’re still on path, or to you show you what your right next move is. After you do this, your job is to pay attention to the signs. Pay attention to your body’s cues about where it’s nudging you to go. Pay attention to the conversations that you are having or the people around you. Pay attention to the things you feel called to research or look into. Trust that these are all the gentle winks from the universe, showing you, helping you, and guiding you to make whatever it is you desire come to fruition.
This doesn't have to mean that the Universe is going to show itself to you in the most epic, life changing way. Often the Universe will show itself to you in some seemingly random moments where you feel "okay, yes. I am exactly on path."
The other weekend I sought guidance on what I needed to do next in my business. A day later, I got this nudge: “Update your website with testimonials. Go work at the coffee shop on Queen.” What an interesting message, I thought. I sat down at the coffee shop to work with my laptop, when a guy across from me sat down. He asked me what I was working on and I replied that I was updating my website to have testimonials. As it turned out, he is a marketer and used to work for massive companies doing their testimonials pages. He was exactly the person I needed to meet at the exact moment that I needed to meet him.
As he went to pull up my website on his computer, a woman walked by. She saw my website and recognized my picture because she had been following along on my social media. She is a break-up coach that works with men in the 30s after they have gotten divorced to learn how to navigate that heartbreak. “I knew I would run into you eventually!” she said. We were able to connect, and it was amazing we met because we both coach individuals going through transitions, but have different niches.
Those two nudge-nudges, first to add testimonials to my website, and then to work at a particular coffee shop, at a particular time, led to me getting expert feedback on how to update my website for free, two new friends and connections, and someone steadily referring me new clients. Had I not followed the nudges, I would have been without the support, guidance and connection that I needed in order to help me on this next stage of my journey.
Follow the nudges. Follow the signs. They are always leading you to exactly where you need to be.
“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on” – Eckhart Tolle
I was walking home the other day looking at the trees. Trees in the dead of winter. Trees with no leave on them. Trees in their rawest, most vulnerable state. But then there it was – the tree with several brown, dried up leave still clinging onto it. They looked out of place. It was so apparent that the leaves served no purpose anymore, and yet the tree hadn’t let go.
Letting go is vulnerable. It leads you to your own winter. That time in your life where you’ve let go completely and are standing bare in facing the unknown, but trusting that by letting go, eventually the new buds will appear come the Spring.
Is there anything that you haven’t let go of yet? Think of yourself as that tree. It seems so foolish, so obvious that it should just let the leaves go. The tree doesn’t realize or remember that eventually the Spring will come and new buds will come, making the tree more beautiful and larger than it was before.
Each time the seasons pass, the trees grow larger. Every time something is released in nature it is so that something larger and more expansive can come from it. Trust that you, like nature, are only going to grow into a better, more vibrant, and beautiful version of yourself by letting go of what is stagnant.
So as we are, still in winter, take cues from nature. Winter is a time for us to go inward, to reflect, to think about what we want to create but also what we want to release. What have you still not let go of?
Now can you set the intention to release it?
My favourite way to release is through ritual. It makes it more ceremonial and this act alone can be deeply healing.
Write out a letter stating whatever it is that you’re ready to release. A behaviour. A past situation. An idea of the future that you’re clinging onto too much. A past relationship. An idea that you have to be a certain weight or size. Then sign the letter and say “thank you inner guide/soul/spirit/heart (whatever word works for you) for helping me to release what is no longer serving me.”
Now here comes the fun part: set it on fire. The act of setting the paper on fire really does add a ritualistic element to it that can be so helpful.
This exercise can be particularly helpful about a job or relationship that ended abruptly. Write out all the memories you have about the job or the person: all of the good, and all of the bad. When I did this exercise over a past relationship, I realized that while I had previously released all of my negative memories about this relationship, I hadn’t been ready before to release the positive memories. I was still holding onto the good memories we had together, but in doing so, I was still holding onto to that relationship, that person, and that version of me and my life.
As such, I was called to write out all of the beautiful memories I had with this person. It was sad to write it out. It was so bittersweet to remember all the amazing memories that we had together, but it was only through releasing the good memories that I was able to release myself of my attachment to this person and this relationship. I had to set myself free.
Perhaps, similarly, you’re holding onto good memories to a past situation that you need to release in order for something new to come into your life. This doesn’t mean that you are going to forget about this person or place or job, but it does mean that you’re going to rid yourself of your attachments to it.
But let go of all those amazing memories of that job you once loved alongside the bad memories. Let go of how light you felt when you fit a certain size, so that you can allow yourself to love on where you’re at now and instead focus on how healthy your body feels. Let go of your good memories at a certain vacation spot so that you can allow new memories in new locations to call out to you.
Letting it go is not just for past hurts or too much attachment to the future, it’s for anything that’s keeping hooked, thus keeping us unhinged from the present moment.
Set yourself free.
You may say that I have some experience in learning to love myself unconditionally. Last year, I decided that it was the right move for me to uproot myself from a business that was steadily growing, a law practice I loved, and the friends and family that support me in order to enter into the entirely manufactured world of reality television.
At the time I left in April of 2017, I was in a deep space of self-love. I had done years of internal excavation to really connect with myself. Hours on the meditation cushion. Pages and pages in journal reflecting. Time of being single, living alone, learning who I really was and wanted to be, what fuelled me and inspired me, connecting with my inner light and determining who I was and who I wanted to be in the world. I had been hitting soul-cycle and yoga like it was my job and was feeling super healthy and strong. I had just gotten back from an epic vacation in Tulum, Mexico with a new group of friends that felt like family followed by another trip to Florida with my family. I felt like I had really hit my stride in my law practice to feel that I was truly capable of handling any and all challenges at work and had a strong professional reputation. My business of coaching, leading corporate meditation and happiness workshops, and leading the Circle was really taking off.
“So we’re just going to put that on hold and head into the unknown” said my heart.
My mind, obviously, had a lot of resistance: “what in the god damn hell??”
“Why give up a good thing? Life is really flowing and feeling amazing!” The amount of love I was feeling each day for myself and for other was off the charts. Why mess with a good thing?
“Tug-tug” my heart kept on saying, “this is the next right move.”
Here’s what I’ve learned: we should always follow our heart/gut/inner guide and the voice of the mind, the fear voice, is primarily there to keep use safe, comfortable, and otherwise stagnant. Knowing this, I decided to bust through my mind’s fears and uncertainty and take a risk.
The beauty is that there will forever be footage of how that experience ended for me. My jaw drops and my eyes bug out of my head. Ever been blindsided before? Let me tell you – it does not feel good. Ever had your heart broken? Ever had that breakup replayed to millions of people? Let me also tell you – it does not feel good.
The summer when I got home from that experience I was in the smoke, as I call it. I did not yet understand why my heart led to something that was ultimately painful. Doesn’t your heart just always lead to the magic? The magic comes in the suffering too, I learned. Of what it feels like to learn to love yourself more deeply from an even more raw place.
When we fail, when things don’t go to plan, when we are blindsided or life throws us a curveball – we have a choice. We can choose to berate ourselves, get down on ourselves, play the victim, and otherwise make ourselves suffer, or we can choose to love ourselves through it.
Initially my mind, the ever-inner-critic, wanted to berate me. “How did you not see this coming?” “Why did you choose to do that experience?” “You’re going to look so foolish, and you DID THIS. You chose to put yourself into that experience.”
I was really “in the smoke” as I call it; those times when things have happened and you’re just not sure why they have happened yet. While I stood in the smoke and waited for it to clear, what could I do?
I chose to learn to love myself anyway.
To choose to love myself even though I had uprooted my life, flung myself into an insane experience, and come out the other side of it with a broken heart, the impending unknown of watching a wider audience evaluate my experience and share personal things I knew were going to be misconstrued (#soulmatechris), shaken confidence from having aspects of my personality made wrong, fears around my reputation and a business that had stalled by being put on hold.
I chose to learn to love myself even when my body fought back from all the stress with an autoimmune issue this summer.
I chose to love myself even when I had no idea why I had put myself through that.
I chose to love myself for not having seen it coming.
I chose to love myself from having chosen to take a risk and having had it not work out the way I imagined.
I chose to love myself when I was told aspects of who I was weren’t okay.
I chose to love myself when I was met with criticism online when the show aired.
I chose to love myself through my heartbreak, through my fears, through the unknown and through the uncertainty.
It’s one thing to love yourself when things are going well, and there’s beauty in that. It’s next level shit to learn to love yourself when things aren’t going to plan. That’s true, unconditional love for yourself.
I got tested, and maybe you will too. If things are going amazing right now, love yourself there. Soak it in, baby. However, if life is really testing you right now, can you learn to love yourself there too?
Here are my top tips for learning to love yourself:
1. Love where you’re at
Don’t resist where you’re at. Fully accept the present as it is. Resisting what is will only create dissonance. Be all in with where you're at. It's only by radical acceptance of what is that we can learn how to navigate it. When you are in a difficult time, admit it, but then don't expect to know why that is happening. Trust that this struggle is teaching you things, and it's your job to wait it out for the smoke to clear in order to learn why this has happened.
2. Fake it til you make it - train your brain to think more loving thoughts
Tell yourself every day one thing that you appreciate about yourself or your life. This will create neural pathways in your mind that will eventually trigger to find more and more things to love and appreciate about yourself.
3. Drop the F Bomb - Forgive Yourself - HARD
That thing you did in the past that you regret?That action you took? The person you hurt? That time you drank too much? That time you screwed up?
Forgive yourself. Let it go.
You were doing the best you could then with what you now know. What lesson were you learning? Why did you act in that way? Now forgive yourself and move on. Love yourself for being how you were - how you didn't know better or how you knew but but you still faltered and love yourself for that. You're human. We all are. We make mistakes, we learn from them, and we let them go.
Forgive yourself and then forgive yourself some more.
4. Do the things that light you up
What makes you feel your best? What lights you up the most? When our energy is up and our vibration is high, we naturally feel more vibrant, expansive and loving. The more that you focus on doing the things that light you up, the more that you'll find there are things lighting you up and the more loving you will feel.
I hope this serves you.
I am typing this from the jungles of Costa Rica with shoddy internet in a break from my retreat because this message came through loud and clear for you: you are complete because you are complete.
Again - You are complete because you are complete.
Not five or ten or fifteen pounds from now. Not when the relationship comes, or you end the relationship. Not when the new job comes or your boss starts to appreciate you more. Not when your friend starts to text you more, or when you launch the website, or when you can feel comfortable enough to post more regularly on social media. No, now.
You are complete right now, in this very moment, simply for being you.
You are beautiful. You matter. You are deserving of everything that you wish to have for yourself in your life.
Yes, you are on a journey. A journey of growth. A journey to know yourself more deeply. A journey of expansion. But along the journey, you won't become complete. You are are complete, whole and perfect. Our issue is just that we forget how beautiful, special, and whole we already are.
Look outside. See those trees? You don't walk around looking at the trees thinking that it should be taller, or stronger, or deeper, or different than it is. You just appreciate it. You appreciate it for being exactly as it needs to be. The way that its age has changed it. Wisened it. Made it grow.
Appreciate yourself. Love yourself. Even if you don't believe it yet, say to yourself: "I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
If you needed reminding, here it is: your life doesn't begin the second something shifts - it's happening right now, in this moment. You are already complete. You are already whole. You are already on the adventure. You are already magnificent.
I've outlined below a tool for you to use to "fake it until you make it" if you feel like you're faking having a deep, overwhelming and pure love for yourself below.
Step One: Acknowledge the Negative Thought or Feeling
What we resist, persists. How are you feeling? Guilty? Like you aren't worthy? That you're imperfect until your body changes? That you should've known better? Whatever it is, it needs to be heard, even if you wish you could silence that voice completely immediately.
Step Two: Choose Again
Choose to over-ride that thought with one that is from your higher self - the part of you that actually does completely love and accept yourself.
Step Three: SAY IT AGAIN
Now say to yourself in meditation, or with your eyes closed, or just focusing on your breath: "even thought I feel X (guilty/ashamed/like I could have done better, etc.) I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
Say it again - and again - and again - and again.
Eventually our brain will be tricked into believing this to be true, and will override the negative thought pattern more quickly, but more importantly, we will choose to allow the voice of our heart/soul/inner guide that is unconditionally loving and accepting of ourselves to guide us instead.
Your positivity is going to piss people off, Your realness will rattle others, and that’s okay
I arrived at the airport yesterday to go on a new adventure and lead my retreat and I ducked under the partition to go and drop my bag off. “What are you doing?!” the young flight employee barked at me. “Where’s your flight? You don’t even have bag tags on your bag.” Her words and energy carried the same dull blue colour of her uniform.
“Whoa.” A small smile emerged from me. “It’s okay. I’m just trying to drop my bag off. Everything is okay.”
I’ve shared with others my career aspirations, and I’ve been met with criticism: “You’ll work all the time. You’ll have no time to spend with your family. You’re never going to meet a guy if you’re doing that.”
I also work as a litigator in a profession that is inherently combative and adversarial, where individuals are swept into the legal process and under extreme stress, which can the perfect breeding ground for low-vibe behaviour.
The week prior I had a person involved in one of the litigation files I am counsel on insinuate that I was I incompetent to handle the file because of my age. I get it – I look young – but it doesn’t take away from the legal degree hanging on my wall or my six years of experience practicing.
Or let’s talk about that time where I put myself on national television to be subject to people repeatedly commenting that I was “crazy” and “desperate” and “too much” for being in touch with my emotions in an isolating environment or having an expressive face.
As you, my love warriors, continue to rise, you’ll be met with more and more negativity. Your light and authenticity can be blinding or uncomfortable for others. Your positivity will piss some people off. Your realness will rattle others, and that’s okay.
Here’s the thing with negativity: it’s always their own stuff. You are simply a mirror. The more that you can stay grounded in that, the more you become able to let negativity bounce off of you.
Step 1: Is it true?
If you feel affected by the comment, ask yourself: is it true? The only way that a comment can really bother us is if somewhere deep down we believe it’s true too. If there’s a part of you that still believe it’s true, it’s time to do some reflecting on why you believe that limiting story. At the same time, it might also be time to reflect and see if you need to clean up some of your own behaviour. Maybe you have gotten caught up in your ego and need to connect back into your heart.
When I was first practicing law I would get comments all the time about my age. It used to trigger in me a whole spiral when I would get those comments because part of me still believed that it was true that I was too inexperienced or young to be able to do my job well – which wasn’t true at all. I had to do some work around unravelling that story.
Step 2: Find the compassion – you are simply a mirror
The next step is to find compassion for the other person. It truly is someone who hasn’t healed an area of themselves, or opened up to a new way of being, or is failing to be honest about how they are feeling, that is going to project undue criticism or negativity.
Your positivity is too much for someone who is in victim mode, or your passion for life might be too much for those who are lacking clarity around their own life and failing to take responsibility for it. The way you look might trigger someone else’s own insecurities. Your authenticity might bother people who find it difficult to be real. Have compassion for where they are at, knowing that you are simply triggering something in them, and forge ahead. It’s not personal.
Step 3: Hold Space for the Negativity without Reacting
Someone else’s fire does not need to be met with your own fire. They also don’t need to be told to just “be more positive”. Instead, be the mirror. Acknowledge how the other person is feeling and hold a calm, open presence, letting the negativity bounce off of you. Eventually their own negativity will stop in that mirror.
A Course in Miracles says: “in my defenselessness my safety lies.” Meaning, when someone is being negative, we don’t need to react back to it, fuelling the fire.
Step 4: Remove Yourself from the Negativity
Remove yourself from the person who is negative, or the space that breeds that negativity. Remove the negative comments from your feed, or delete the negative text. Your space – whether it’s in your physical surroundings or online – is sacred. Remove the negativity from it.
Step 5: Clear the Space
If you’re still feeling funky about it, you can clear your energy through any number of ways:
- Putting your hands on a tree or the earth to ground the energy off of youl
- Using a sage stick or palo santo smoke to get negative energy off of yourself;
- Taking a long shower or bath and picturing the negative energy washing off of you as you wash yourself;
- Going through a movement practice and set the intention to shake off whatever energy from other people is still stuck on you.
I hope this helps you. Keep SHINING, my friend. The world needs your light.
Ask and it is yours. Truly. It’s now no secret that I love manifesting. I am a true believer that while we cannot control everything in our lives, and all outcomes, there is a lot that is within our power. Our mind is powerful, and our free will to execute on the ideas that are presented to us is incredible.
One of the biggest stumbling blocks that I see with my coaching clients and at the Circle, however, is our mind getting in the way by trying to figure out the “how” of how things are going to happen. Our minds love to think linearly, and make assumptions based upon prior experiences as to how things are going to unfold. When our minds cannot conceive of how something is going to happen, it gets tripped up: “that’s impossible.” “that’s wishful thinking.” “there’s no way that’s a possibility.” “give up. pack it in. who are you to think that is possible" - thereby sabotaging us from receiving the very thing that we wanted.
Our mind limits us from seeing and receiving the infinite possibilities for how what we want to have happen to materialize because it wants to only believe in what it knows and can control. However, you have the power to choose again and choose a new story - a story where anything you want for yourself in your life is possible.
There is a set process to manifest things:
1.Set the intention and get super, crystal clear on what you want and why you want it.
Ensure that the ask is coming from your heart and not from your ego. Get clear on why it is that you are asking for this. will it create more feelings of love and expansiveness in you, or are you asking from a place of scarcity, lack of, or fear?
Believe it is possible, with conviction. Mantra:"everything I want for myself in my life is possible.";
2. Let go - both of the HOW this is going to happen, as well was in what WAY it happens
3. Act as if it's already happened. Focus on the feeling. How would it feel when this thing happens? Embody that energy now - because it's already happening. You are becoming an energetic match for what you want to call into your life.
4.Take inspired action as you feel called.
Step two is often the hardest part. Our mind wants to control, and wants to believe that it knows what’s best for us. How do you let it go? Firstly, trust that the universe is conspiring in your favour and will make what you have asked happen. I know that seems hard at first. The mind thinks it knows what's possible based upon prior experience, but the Universe makes the tides turn and trees grow so I'm pretty sure it knows what its doing. Universal intelligence that is far smarter than your mind.
There are an infinite number of ways how what you want to have materialize could show up. You just need to trust it will - 100%. All in.
Then let go - surrender completely. Do not spend energy trying to control how this is going to happen. Instead, trust that the wheels are already in motion, and you just go about your life – do the things that keep you feeling good. You act as if the thing has already happened. You embody the energy of the person you will be when that thing arrives. For example, if you want more money, then start respecting money even more by paying your bills on time, paying off debt, spending within your means, or donating a portion of your current earnings to charity, like someone with lots of money would. If you want to date someone amazing, then start treating yourself like you want that person to treat you.
When you feel good, your mind is clear to receive the inspiration and wisdom it needs to execute on to bring your vision to fruition. You will take action as you feel inspired to.
Your heart/soul/intuition/inner guide might tell you to go to another coffee shop where you sit down beside someone who happens to be reading the exact book that you need to educate yourself for your dream job, or you might feel more open to reaching out to a contact when someone suggests it to you. You might feel the pull to walk down a new street where you run into a friend going to an event that changes your life, or you might feel super creative and begin to start writing a book. Each day, be open to receive from your inner guidance what your next step is.
Do not spend your time and precious energy dwelling on how to make things happen for yourself, and instead let things happen for you. Trust that life can work out for you. Trust that the Universe is friendly and not fearful - and wants to make your dreams come true. Trust that life is working out for you. Trust that the game is rigged in your favour.
And so it is.
New Year’s Day 2014 I woke up hungover.
I remember everything about the night before. I decided that I wanted to forgo hanging out with my girlfriends and their boyfriends because I wanted to party.
Instead of spending time with the women who have championed me every step, and misstep, of my life, I ended up in a stranger’s house party speaking with people I barely knew, popping champagne, and making out at midnight with some guy who’s name I don’t remember.
The make-up. The blow-out. The fancy dress. The party. The new guy I just wanted attention from. All of it.
All of it was me masking what I didn’t want to feel inside, which was that I was lonely and disconnected.
Sometimes it seems obvious in retrospect. If I wanted to feel connected, why did I choose to go to a party instead of spending time with the people who care about me the most?
What I know now is that sometimes our soul leads us to places that make us feel even more disconnected, more detached and lonely so that eventually we’ll wake up again.
2013 had been a whirlwind year for me. It was the year that I admitted to myself that I wasn’t happy with my objectively perfect life, got out of a relationship with a person who loved me so deeply that I feared I would never meet anyone who would love me as much, and spent the remainder of the year running from answering the question of “if I’m not THAT person and THAT life that I always pictured for myself… then who am I? and what is my life about?”
It was a heavy question.
While I could admit that life didn’t feel as good as it wanted to feel, I had no idea what this new vision for my life was, or even once I had it, how I would make it happen.
I knew from previous experience that I could manifest anything, but the truth was, all I really wanted was just to feel happier.
So 2014 was going to be the year. The year that I would start to motivate myself to become a better person again. To stop the spiral. To stop running from myself and my own bullshit stories. It was time to go deep, get dirty, and sort through the muck like the lotus blossoming from the mess around it, find the light in me again.
It worked. Over the course of 2014, my life profoundly shifted. I felt happier than I ever had. I felt more connected and sure of myself than I ever had. I had a powerful vision for my future.
At the end of the year, I spent New Year’s Eve 2014 in Vietnam, all my myself, but feeling so truly, completely at peace with myself, where I was, and how much I had grown.
I gently laid a paper boat lantern down the Mekong river and watched it float away and thought to myself “this is just the beginning.”
So let’s begin. This is your year. Your year to get unstuck, to love yourself more, to release what’s holding you down, and to remember that you can create anything you want for yourself in your life. I’ve got your back. We’re in this one together.
In this Vlog I share how to start your year by coming up with three or four words that will guide your year.
How do you want to feel, most of the time? What theme do you want active in your life, most of the time?
Last year mine were: COURAGE, POWER, SWEETNESS, SURRENDER
This year mine are: PRECISION, GENTLENESS, EASE
What are three things that you can do this month that will help you feel the feelings that you have written out?
If you wrote: healthy. Cool. What is one thing you can do this month to feel healthy? Hit that spin class? Check.
If you wrote: beautiful. Okay. What makes you feel beautiful? Can you commit to doing that once this month?
If you wrote: inspired. Neat. What places make you feel most inspired? Can you go there once this month?
Keep remembering - small hinges swing big doors. This is the hinge, and you're about to swing the door for 2018 right open.
Get Support. Accountability. Who is going to be your life "running buddy" for the year? Commit to what you are cultivating right now and this year out loud, to someone else.
If you want to join our community in Toronto, head over to the events page and I'll meet you there to keep you accountable (January 10, 18 and 24 are our upcoming Circles).
I knew 2017 was a year to level up and put myself out there in a big way. I had been doing so much growth, unravelling and learning for years prior that I was ready and so pumped to share all that I learned in a way more massive way.
As such, I set the intention of having a year filled with power, courage, sweetness and surrender.
I then set unrealistic intentions/goals that came from my heart in my journal (obvi):
- I want to encourage 20,000 women to love themselves more unconditionally
- I want to be featured in more media
- I want to run a retreat
- I want to live as an example of compassion, grace and courage
- I want to run goddess circle twice a month
- I want to transition to a plant based diet
- I want to fall in love with an incredible man who supports me to level up
- I want to have a consistent Mysore yoga practice
- I want to have 3-6 coaching clients I work with a month
- I want to do several speaking engagements
And holy F. Was I not given crazy opportunities by the universe to do all those things. Did they all happen the way I thought they would? Absolutely not. This year was massive about surrendering - trusting that if I was following the signs - that the things I wanted to happen just would.
Let’s look at how the Universe, spirit and my soul took me on a wild ass ride that ended up in me having all the things I VERY CLEARLY ASKED FOR come my way. Having a tall, blonde, athletic Chris was only a tiny drop in the ocean of the things I actually asked for.
This year, I started Goddess Circles. I originally got the idea back in December to start them and wanted to put it off, but then my intuition actually yelled at me, “no. you’ll start now. You’re starting in January.”
I was not ready, but I also felt really passionate about the idea. I felt like when I was first exploring self-reflection, meditation, and personal growth it was so isolating and I couldn’t find a conscious community that resonated with me. I decided I would create what I wish existed, and what I still need today.
Entire the Circle.
It has blown my mind to see the events sell out, for anywhere between 20-40 women show up every month to bear with me and one another their hearts and their dreams. The transformation I have seen in myself and the women in this beautiful community has blown my mind. Truly. It is incredibly powerful. If you haven’t come to one yet, please come join us.
It also took a lot of power for me to lead a group like this. To own my leadership. To know that I could lead because I had a lot I had studied, and could teach from that place and share my experiences, and was able hold the energy of the group. I was so nervous at first, but now I feel in such a flow with it. Power.
Power also manifested in opportunities to start to share my story of learning that outward success was never going to lead to inner happiness. I shared my story on stage to larger and larger groups. Power. I did a number of workshops on meditation and stress hacks for different corporate and University groups. Power.
This really came into play with my intentions for the year. I wanted all of the above to happen, but had no idea how in the eff any of it was going to happen. In particular, how I was going to inspire 20,000 to love themselves more unconditionally. I knew I was doing the goddess circles, but I mean, how would I ever reach that many people?
Also, I knew I wanted to be featured in more media, and had been asked to do a number of podcasts and interviews on mindfulness, meditation, and self-love earlier this year, but then….
Enter going on national TV, connecting with an audience of millions and the media storm that ensued subsequent to that experience.
I did fall in love with incredible men who supported me to level up – twice. Did either of them work out? No. The thing is with an open heart, you can extend that love to someone else truly unconditionally. That meant that while I extended that love in a big way to two different men this year (you can have a quick guess as to whether they were both named Chris, and both blonde, and both athletic… what are the chances?!), it can from a truly unconditional place of not expecting anything in return. I loved them because I did and wanted to extend that love. Did my life end when it didn’t work out with either of them? No.
I had done so much personal work in the past few years about learning to have a truly open heart that it was beautiful for me to look back this year and see that I was rooted enough in my own self-love to be able to vulnerably extend it twice this year to guys who ultimately could not give me what I was looking for. Being single is such a gift for the growth it brings.
I knew I wanted a regular Mysore yoga practice. When I was filming the Bachelor, I did mysore yoga every day when we were in Costa Rica because I couldn’t do anything else. I finally did realize my daily yoga practice, if only for the month that we were filming there. Since that time, I still do mysore a few times a month, which is technically still “regular”, but I just prefer Sheldon Shannon’s classes at Downward Dog because they are truly incredible and inspire me so much.
All of the other things happened in ways I couldn’t imagine – I was approached about sharing my story of achieving all my goals by 25 and realizing that no external “thing” was ever going to make me happy and that true happiness and success are an inside job at a large speaking gig in the Fall, and led several workshops on how to incorporate meditation into your daily life where I share my story about why I am so passionate about it.
The plant based diet came easily as a bi-product of my vibration continuing to change over the course of the year. Ram Dass says that eventually things fall away as we evolve, so to not try and push things like fasting or eating more plant-based until it feels natural. I found that my appetite for non-plant products naturally waned as my conscious continued to shift.
I changed the way in which I coach, and transitioned it to “soul coaching/soul sessions”, and sure enough, now regularly have 6 coaching sessions a month.
I wanted to lead a retreat, and then two girlfriends of mine who had both run retreats before asked if I wanted to collaborate with them. Yes, please. See you guys in Costa Rica next year.
This year was filled with so many sweet, magical moments. Sweetness for life. Amazing, beautiful trips to NYC, LA and Tulum with new and old friends. Finding myself watching the moon rise in Tulum on top of a hotel, or dancing in a warehouse in NYC with other love warriors. Going to one of my best friend’s weddings this summer and staying in a house in Niagara with my girlfriends. Spending time at the cottage and in Florida with my family. Welcoming new, amazing, sweet souls into my life.
Sweetness came from learning, more and more, to be gentle with myself and sweet with myself, particularly as I navigated these new edges of radical self-acceptance and honesty.
Sweetness also came from loving myself through having this insane stress rash that broke out all over my torso in the summer just in time for bikini season after I got home from filming. Turns out, you cannot flip your life upside down and the plug back into normal life and pretend everything is okay. Your body will fight back. To be sweet with myself while patiently waiting for this skin flare up to go away (it took seven weeks) in the middle of the summer, was work.
Lastly, sweetness came as I sat beside my ailing Nana, a woman so pivotal in me becoming the woman I am today, in our final moments together in Sunnybrook Hospital, holding hands with her, my mom and I in a circle, three generations of strong women, and telling her how much we loved her, how much she inspired us, how her legacy would live on, and how it was okay for her to finally let go.
With that in mind, that whole "courage" thing I was seeking this year really manifested in a profound way. Try uprooting your life for two months just as the Circles were really grooving and I had a bunch of speaking engagements and workshops flowing my way, to go into isolation with strangers and film a TV show, then catapult yourself back into your "real life", and then watch it, and your most vulnerable and raw moments, get played back to a national audience.
I had no idea what doing reality TV would be like, and suffice to say, it took way more courage than I could have ever imagined at the time. If I really want to inspire other people to love themselves more unconditionally – that means loving the beautiful, exciting, polished parts of yourself – and also loving the uncontained, unpolished, and unsavoury sides of yourself too – then I had to embody it in a huge way. It takes tremendous courage to love yourself so fiercely. All sides of you. To get up every time that you’ve been smacked down. To love yourself when things aren’t going to plan, or when you’ve made a decision and you’re not sure why you have. To love yourself when you're stressed. To love yourself when you feel regret.
To actually have my jaw actually drop on national TV, but still exit with grace, and still be able to face Chris Leroux and the audience with an open heart, with compassion for where Chris is at and his decisions, as well as myself for how the experience unfolded, took a lot of courage. To be completely authentic and real and open, and to have persevered from an experience that was marked by a lot of pain for me, again, took courage.
I had a lot of time where I “in the smoke” this year – that stage where things are not going to plan, or something has happened and you just don’t know why it is happening. The answer is not supposed to come yet. All you can do is love yourself through that, turn to your faith and grounding practices (for me that’s meditation, yoga, soul-cycle, deep connection with friends and family, nature and journaling) and wait it out until the smoke clears. Courage.
The path of the love warrior is no effing joke, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. If you're doing to do life, why not try really being all-in, you know?
I hope this year review encourages you to remember that anything you want for yourself in your life is completely possible for you, but that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy. Are you ready? If you ask the Universe, be prepared to level up. Be prepared for it to fuck with your shit. Be prepared to watch everything that is holding you back to be ripped from you. But also be prepared for more love, more joy, more excitement and expansion than you have ever experienced before.
And also be prepared for the best feeling – that feeling of looking back at all – and thinking “I DID THAT. I CREATED THAT.”
You are incredible. You are so powerful. You can have anything you desire.
You got this.
HAPPY END OF 2017!!!! This is my favourite time of the year, truly, because it gives you time to reflect on that has been and all that is to come.
There is such power in OWNING our story, whatever the story was of 2017. What happened? Maybe you feel like a lot didn't happen, but when you take a moment, and really remember the person that you were at the beginning of this year and what you were doing, and then reflect upon all the tiny shifts and changes and things that unfolded all year, you'll realize that here you are - a completely different person. It's amazing.
In this video, I share what we did in the last Circle of the year, which was to go through and reflect on:
1. What were your five highlights of the year?
2. What were your five downfalls or things that did not go to plan?
3. What were the the curveballs or totally unexpected things that happen, and ultimately, what were you learning from those things? What lessons did you learn?
PS. My next GODDESS CIRCLE is JANUARY 10 at Misfit - tickets are online at Eventbrite now.
There's an UPTOWN Circle happening at BOD studio on January 18, andddd there's a SUNDAY NIGHT Circle happening January 21.
We normally sell out and our capacity is a sweet 35 people (talk about GOOD VIBES) so if you want to join message me so i can reserve your spot.
how are you?
but really - how ARE you?
be honest, but then also be honest about whether you're choosing to stay in the light or choosing to to complain, dwell in negativity, or fear, or run a bullshit story you don't need to anymore
if you run the script that life is amazing. that good people come into your life every day. that you are supported. that your family loves you. that life feels exciting
that's what's going to show up
we just had winter solstice ❄️ which means it's time now to go inward. into the darkness so you can cruise back into the light. notice whether any of your narrative about life needs some cleaning up
Because life IS magical
boots on. parka on. tights on. ear muffs on. try not to freeze. try to make it into the office. try to focus in on the work on the laptop in front of me
we can get caught up in thinking we want to be anywhere other than where we are, right now, in this exact moment, but it's a trap
your destiny is in front of you right now. it's not some elusive moment ahead of you - some experience or place or person that's going to shift everything into place and then your destiny becomes realized
no, your destiny is right now. looking you in the face
if something feels wrong, change it. but if you take a pause, take a moment, wait there just a minute and think "oh yeah. oh right. okay. everything's just fine right now." take a moment and love on that fact. love on where you're at right now. you're just on your journey. love on the places you've gone and the places you'll go. love on the people you've met and dream of the people you've yet to meet. love on what's to come, by loving what's happening right now